For the three people I haven’t told yet, IT’S HERE! I’m beside myself with glee to finally announce the official release of my second book, Who Left the Cork Out of My Lunch? Middle Age, Modern Marriage & Other Complications. It’s available now on Amazon, B&N, and iTunes, in paperback and Kindle.
I’m kind of loving the Amazon description:
“Are you a woman who has ever looked in the mirror and thought, “How did my mother get in my bathroom?” Have you gone through years of night sweats and seismic mood swings, leaving you with a metabolism that forces you to choose between wine and carbs (so you haven’t had a bagel in eight years)? Did you wake up one morning in someone else’s body? Then you will love this book.
If you ever made a regrettable hairstyle choice, finally conceded that thongs make you look like a Weeble in dental floss, or wished your Hubs would learn that grabbing your boobs every time you walk past him with a load of laundry is not foreplay, then you will love this book.
Who Left the Cork out of My Lunch? is chock-full of funny, informative how-to lists, hilarious advice columns, and sharp personal anecdotes that cover subjects from menopause (are we done yet?), empty nest syndrome (sob!), and grandchildren (yay!), to sex (better after fifty), marriage (he said what??), age-appropriate fashion (what does that mean?), cosmetic intervention (to Botox or not to Botox?), diet fails (#972), beauty tips from Mom (still true), and confidence (fabulous after fifty).
Laugh along with author Vikki Claflin and her amusing advice on how to let go of our youth and start rocking our middle age. Are you ready?”
Chapter titles include:
“Good Morning, Mom. Now, for the Love of God, Put Some Clothes On”
“It’s Swimsuit Season. Pass the Milk Duds”
“I Auditioned to Be a Spanx Model. It’s Been Six Months and They Haven’t Called”
“From MILF to Middle-Age. How Do You Know if It’s Happened to You?”
“Aging Gracefully. Not as Easy as It Sounds”
“At once frank and funny, edgy and heartfelt, Who Left the Cork Out of My Lunch? is a laugh-out-loud romp through midlife. Every woman over 40 should buy this book, and buy another for a girlfriend. Vikki Claflin is us. Pour a glass of wine, put on your Depends and settle in with this hilarious read. Aging may suck, but Claflin makes it suck just a little less.” Jenna McCarthy, author of I’ve Still Got It… I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It: Awkwardly True Tales from the Far Side of Forty
(Thank God for my talented Booktrope team. They made everything perfect. They’re like the plastic surgeons of the writing world.)
And a huge Thank You to those of you who posted advanced reviews on Amazon or who added their click to Thunderclap, to help me get the word out. You ROCK. (And who says you don’t make real friends on Facebook? Those people are idiots and obviously have different friends.)
And now the real fun begins. How to get those 5,000 books out of my garage and happily mailed off to their new homes.
To celebrate and share this momentous day that every writer cherishes, and because my mother taught me to always give back, I’m announcing a totally cool THANK YOU drawing. Starting today, and running for one week only (until midnight, 2/21), anyone who LIKES, COMMENTS, and SHARES this post on Facebook will be entered into the drawing. Super simple, but you need to do all three things on Facebook to enter. Three people will be randomly selected to receive an autographed copy of my book (possibly worth big bucks someday…or not. But you never know), and one of those books will come as part of a bountiful Zen Swag Bag.
What’s in a Zen Swag Bag, you ask? It’s all about relaxation and reducing that stress (because I love you that way).
A signed copy of Who Left the Cork Out of My Lunch? to help navigate midlife with wisdom and laughter;
A signed copy of Shake, Rattle & Roll With It; Living & Laughing with Parkinson’s. For you, or anyone you know living with a chronic illness. Because we can always use a good laugh;
A Live, Laugh & Love coffee mug, to help get those morning (or midnight) creative juices flowing;
A handbag-sized notebook with Ernest Hemingway’s “Write Drunk, Edit Sober” tag line, to carry with you for that blinding flashes of brilliance that came to you at a stoplight, but that you forgot by the time you got home, causing you to spend the rest of the day desperately trying to recall it, resulting in a week-long depression because you were just so close to having it perfect;
A bag of Hershey’s Kisses, because…well, chocolate;
A wine glass just for you, suitably inscribed with “Everything is fine with a glass of wine (or two).” Chocolate’s BFF. See above.
Two colorful bookmarks. Because we don’t read everything on our Kindles (and dog-eared page are just sad);
Two soy aromatherapy candles. Sensual or invigorating. (It’s always nice to have a choice);
A generous bottle of Natural Therapy Bath Oil/Body Wash, for when you’re just done for the day;
A full-size tube of foot lotion and fluffy, soft socks. Because we all know that life is better when our feet are happy;
A sleep mask. To help avoid in-your-face, nighttime stare-downs from toddlers or pets that want attention right now. (And it’s zebra print, because you’re a rebel);
A “Do Not Disturb” door hanger, for those people can’t seem to grasp that when your door is closed, you’re not receiving;
An adorable, plush pink bear. Because sometimes nobody’s home and we just need a hug.
Is this fun or what??
So Like this post, leave a comment on Facebook, and share it on your own FB page or with a friend, and get your name in the drawing. All the cool kids are doing it.
Now Hubs has gone out to the garage, and he’s got champagne. I’m on my way.