Last weekend, our son and his wife came to visit, bringing their two small children. We sat around the dining table, happily chatting about everything and nothing. Eventually, the subject got around to the wee ones’ schooling and the expected level of commitment from parents and grandparents in fund-raising events. Including the dreaded Bake Sale. I […]
I confess. I have a sweet tooth. I love dessert. In a civilized world, we’d start with dessert and work backwards, finishing our meals with a salad, if we had any room left. Cake with lots of frosting, cookies, brown-betty pies, and brownies with nuts, I love it all. (I gained 65 pounds from a 9-month pregnancy […]
I was watching The Voice recently, and I found myself imagining what life would be like for someone with that kind of talent. These people were amazing, and I imagined that the world must be like a nonstop birthday party for the lucky few that could belt out a heart-wrenching rendition of “Endless Love” and turn it into a […]
Whenever a new baby comes into a family, the first year or so is all about how “his ears are huge, just like Uncle Elmo’s” or “her smile looks just like Aunt Trixie’s.” By the second year, we start looking for positive personality traits, hopefully handed down from beloved relatives. He may have Uncle Dumbo’s ears, but he also has […]
Having a fun lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant, when Kenny and I run into a couple of friends we hadn’t seen in years. After several minutes of “OMG, you look GREAT!” “Really? Your kids are HOW old??” and “Remember when we…” we decided to get together at our house the next night for dinner […]
Of all the mysteries in the kitchen, by far the greatest enigma is the stove. With all of its knobs and settings, multiple burners (in various sizes), LED lights, and options for a vast and baffling array of activities, not to mention the damn oven portion, with not one, but TWO adjustable racks, and a […]
I have a theory about cooking. Despite what many people (particularly those who cook) claim, it’s NOT simply a matter of “following the directions.” Even the most rudimentary recipes love to toss around cooking terms that non-cooks struggle with. What exactly is a “pinch” of something? Would that be like a tiny, baby cheek pinch, or a big ‘ol butt-grabbing pinch? And how much of something is a “smidgen?” Or a “scoach?” And every recipe includes at least one instruction to “sprinkle to taste.” How the hell would I know unless I lick the bowl as I go?? Of course, if you DO get actual measurements, they’re often flexible. This doesn’t work for us. “One-half to one tablespoon” just makes non-cooks crazy. Which is it, dammit? One half tablespoon or one tablespoon?? It’s your recipe. You tell me.
One year, Kenny made the unfortunate choice to get me some huge binder called “The Joy of Cooking.” (Yeah, like he got lucky THAT night.) Every recipe called for more ingredients than I have in my house in an entire year, and after the third try of a ridiculously complicated side dish (got all the way to the bottom, and it read “Pour sauce over top before serving. For sauce recipe, see page 322.” SERIOUSLY??), I frisbee’d the stupid book out my back patio door and onto the soccer field next door. Poor thing got run over by a large rider mower and has now gone to confetti heaven, where it belongs.
Feeling a need for something sweet and creamy, so I decided to make a cheesecake while Kenny was at work. How hard can it be? Half a dozen ingredients (probably less, since I tend to leave out anything I don’t like, can’t identify, or don’t have in the house…) Followed most of the instructions, but […]