Recently I saw a television interview with a self-proclaimed money expert who said that if you want to get rich , you should start a religion or discover a new diet. Apparently a great majority of Americans are spiritually confused or fat. Notwithstanding the fact that we live in a culture where a size 12 […]
Today I Fired my BFF
I recently read an interesting article about self-talk and the things we say to ourselves every day. Apparently, therapists generally agree that if Hubs or a friend spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves, we’d kick them to the curb right freaking now (okay, I paraphrased). The writer pointed out that since the person we […]
I’ve Decided to Toss My Scale. Right After I Weigh In
You know that weight that you’ve deemed your personal “fat weight”? The one that’s the highest acceptable number on the scale before you panic and throw out every carbohydrate in your kitchen (possibly getting perilously close to dumping out all your wine), vowing to stop eating crap, get healthy, and lose this damn weight, starting […]
Need New Jeans? Welcome to Shopping Hell
Stop the first 10 middle-age women you meet on the street and ask them to name their least favorite item to shop for and 8 of them will say “swimsuits.” Bikinis aside (since most boomers haven’t even tried one on since 1989), even one-piece suits have a way of outing your last dozen dieting failures […]
Summer Workouts. Maybe I Should’ve Started in the Spring
As the weather gets warmer and clothes get, well…smaller, I decided it was time to get into shape for summer. Nothwithstanding the knowledge that unless you’re 12, with the tone and definition of youth, AND you can lose 10 pounds on a 3-day juice cleanse, summer is, admittedly, a bit late to get in shape […]
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Thinner
Those of you who have been reading my blog for the last few months (Bless you. Your share of my lottery winnings are in the mail) know that I love Hollywood. It’s fun, silly, and just weird enough to make me feel normal. A recent issue of Star Magazine (yes, I subscribe…don’t judge), featured an […]
Food Diary, My Butt. That’s a Paper Trail
Researching my weight loss program options for 2013, in yet another enthusiastic but short-lived attempt to lose the same 10 pounds I’ve been working on since 1974, I did a quick review of previous epic fails. 1. Jenny Craig. Tastes great, but portioned for a small gerbil. Jenny’s Fish & Chips dinner entree would be […]
I’d Save my Seamstress. Everybody Else, Out of the Boat
You know those stupid board games that have questions you need to answer truthfully, or lose a turn? Yeah, the ones that invariably turn an amicable evening out with family and friends into a war zone of hurt feelings, bathroom brawls, and an occasional divorce (although to be fair, you didn’t HAVE to truthfully answer […]
Diet Brownies? I’ll Take a Dozen, Please
Kenny and I thought we were looking at bit, well…married, so we decided to go on a diet together. Loosely translated, this means he cuts back on chip dip and knocks off a quick 10 pounds, while I’m down the hall charting the pros and cons of various weight-loss options and why they NEVER WORK. […]
The Standing Tree Pose is For, Well…Trees.
Feeling a bit stiff these days, so decided to get a yoga DVD and try to regain some lost flexibility. (Who am I kidding? I’ve never been particularly “stretchy.” A long lineage of German peasant stock has resulted in a sturdy gene pool built for power, but not a toe-toucher seated anywhere around the dinner […]
Closet full of clothes, but nothing to wear? Grab my FREE "Ninja Closet Cleaning Course (what to toss, what to keep)," and find out how to love your clothes again.