Much has been written over the years on how to graciously accept a compliment. We teach our daughters to simply say “Thank you,” instead of automatically becoming self-deprecating (“This old thing? I’ve had it for years”) or coy (“Do you really?”) when someone says “I love your dress.” Personally, I’m still waiting for the day […]
Nine months ago, Laugh Lines went “live.” I’d thought about starting a blog for some time, and had even halfheartedly tried it a year or two earlier. But it really had no purpose, no reason to exist, so when I quickly discovered that successful blogs are, plainly stated, a butt-load of WORK, my first attempt […]
My husband has never read my blog. Not once. Not. A. Single. Post. In his defense, he hates the computer, and generally sees it as a huge time-sucker that exists purely to frustrate him whenever he tries to look up the price of used fishing boats for sale within a 65-mile radius. If he needs […]
As the weather gets warmer and clothes get, well…smaller, I decided it was time to get into shape for summer. Nothwithstanding the knowledge that unless you’re 12, with the tone and definition of youth, AND you can lose 10 pounds on a 3-day juice cleanse, summer is, admittedly, a bit late to get in shape […]
A friend of mine recently had her breasts “upsized,” and she’s determined that no one will ever know they’re not natural. Okay, babe. Love ya, but we need a tiny reality check here. You’re 50. You weigh 103 pounds, and you’re a size 2 (and we’re still friends, which shows what a secure woman I […]
A couple of weeks ago, two selections from Laugh Lines were selected for Book 4 of the Life Well Blogged series (“Parenting Gag Reels, Hilarious Writes and Wrongs, Take 26”). Like most new authors, I was beside myself with excitement at the thought of seeing my writing IN PRINT. When my first shipment of books […]
Up past my usual 8:30 bedtime one night and, like a 3-year-old who gets to stay up late with the big people, I thought I’d check out what goes on in cyberspace after 10:00. Five minutes online, and struck gold.
Apparently there’s a new facebook app called the “Social Media Sobriety Test,” designed to help prevent regrettable, late-night, drunken posts to spouses (“Babe, SO sorry I slept with your sister. I was drunk and thought she was you”), employers (“Didn’t like my presentation, jackass?? I QUIT”), ex-lovers (“Pleeeez take me back. Sob. I’m just a pathetic loser without you”), friends (“Seriously, dude, you REALLY don’t know your wife is sleeping with your best friend?? Everyone else does”), or family members (“Yeah, you just THINK mom loves you best. She gave me a thousand bucks for my birthday last year. What did she give YOU?”)
Once installed, whenever you try to post after 10 p.m., it automatically opens a quick test (you have to type in the alphabet BACKWARDS, which I can’t do sober, so yeah, I’m screwed). If you fail, you can’t log in. But just to make sure the entire universe knows your every move, it then UPDATES YOUR STATUS to say “(Your name) can’t post tonight because he/she is intoxicated.” Awesome. (At this point, if you’re at a bar and any of your facebook friends are local police officers, I wouldn’t try to drive home, since you just publicly outed your current condition. “Yeah, I’m drunk, and yep, I’m driving home now.”) So this amazing app saves relationships and jobs, AND reduces DUI convictions. And best of all, it’s FREE!
But since I’m a social media junkie (show me a blogger who isn’t, and I’ll show you a writer that writes to hear herself speak), I had to pass on anything that threatens to kick me offline, so I moved on to late-night shopping. Settling in with a glass of wine (since I’m neither posting on facebook or driving), I booted up a search for something fun and girly to buy. Having more luck than I usually experience with lottery tickets or blackjack, I quickly struck gold for the second time that night. Up popped a photo, with accompanying link, to the BOSOM MAX.
Pink (of course), frilly, and cut down to there
Just received another notice from Facebook that in this season of dinners out with friends and trips out of state to see the fam, we should avoid posting our holiday plans on Facebook until AFTER we get home. Seems an unfortunate side effect of sharing our upcoming itineraries with 850 of our closest friends is […]