Older Moms vs. Younger Moms
By Denise Geelhart
I’m a mom of a “certain age.” My first daughter was born when I was 39 and my second at 41. I didn’t plan it out that way. It just happened to take me longer to find the man I would marry. (Or, to be honest, one willing to marry my mess-of-a-self.)
Since I started motherhood later than the norm, I find there are several differences in how motherhood is going for me versus moms old enough to be my daughters younger than me. Here’s my (tongue-firmly-implanted-in-cheek) take on older moms versus younger moms:
Child or Grandchild?
Older Mom:
When people see you with your child, they carefully tiptoe in conversation trying to assess if the child is your child or your grandchild. Some even have the audacity to ask how old your grandchild is, resulting in a real imagined slap across the face.
Younger Mom:
People assume the child is yours.
The “Creep”
Older Mom:
When you leave your sleeping child’s room, you pray that your joints won’t make a creaking or popping sound as you leave, waking your child, and, ultimately, pissing you off because now you have to convince them go to sleep again.
Younger Mom:
When you tiptoe out of your child’s room, you do so without a sound.
Retirement Dreams
Older Mom:
You think retirement won’t happen until your mid- to late-60s, once your children are out of college. Hopefully.
Younger Mom:
You are sure you will be able to retire at 55.
Changing Diapers
Older Mom:
You have something in common with your kids. As they learn to potty train out of their diapers, you look at Depends at the grocery store and contemplate buying some for yourself.
Younger Mom:
You look forward to not touching another diaper until you have grandkids.
“I’ve Fallen and Can’t Get Up”
Older Mom:
When you get on the ground to play with your kids, you pray someone will help you get up again.
Younger Mom:
You get down and up faster than your kids.
Pacifiers
Older Mom:
When your child drops a pacifier, you pick it up, wipe it off on your pants, and give it back to your child. You figure that germs are good for your kids.
Younger Mom:
When your child drops a pacifier, you replace it with a clean one. Once home, you sterilize the dirty one again. You figure all germs are bad for your kids.
Note Passing
Older Mom:
When you were in high school, you got in trouble for passing notes to your friend. The teacher then read the note to the whole class, letting the whole school know that you had a major crush on the captain of the football team.
Younger Mom:
When you were in high school, you got in trouble for texting your friend and had your cell phone confiscated.
Duran Duran
Older Mom:
Your favorite band is Duran Duran, and you’re thrilled if they notice you on Twitter. You raise your kids listening to all the great songs of the 80s.
Younger Mom:
You have no clue who or what Duran Duran is. Wait, didn’t your mom mention seeing them in concert once?
High School Dances
Older Mom:
Every dance you went to in high school was in the 80s. Your children will attend 80s-themed dances in high school.
Younger Mom:
You attended 80s-themed dances, and your children will attend them as well.
Technology
Older Mom:
You have used a typewriter, rotary phone, and a black-and-white television at some point in your life.
Younger Mom:
What the hell are a typewriter and a rotary phone? And why would anyone use a black-and-white television?
Older Mom:
You love reconnecting with people from high school on Facebook. In fact, your 25th reunion would have bombed had it not been for Facebook.
Younger Mom:
You avoid Facebook because your parents are on it.
Summer
Older Mom:
You don’t worry about cold weather because you have your own “personal” summer daily. Dang hot flashes!
Younger Mom:
For you, summer only happens from June through September.
Twenty-Something
Older Mom:
In your 20s and early 30s, you went out most weekends and, sometimes, even weeknights to restaurants, clubs, and out with friends. You might have even flown out-of-town for a quick weekend away.
Younger Mom:
You spend most of your 20s and early 30s at home with your kids. If you’re lucky, you might be able to get a babysitter for the night or convince your partner to stay home with your kids while you go out with your friends. Weekends away? What’s that?
Your Children
Older Mom:
You love your children with your whole heart!
Younger Mom:
You love your children with your whole heart!
In the end, older moms and younger moms, isn’t loving our kids the most important thing anyway?
Bio: Denise Geelhart is a 40+-year-old mom trying to navigate the world of motherhood. She writes about parenting, food, and life as she sees it at her blog Adventures of a Jayhawk Mommy (http://jayhawkmommy.com). Whenever a free moment presents itself (rarely), Denise enjoys solving mysteries (okay…reading mysteries or watching them on TV), cooking, and drinking way too much caffeine. Basically, anything she needs to do to survive the toddler and preschool years.
This is hilarious! I was a younger mom (in the 90’s) so this is all familiar and I grew up with an older mom. So I get both sides of that issue. This was a hilariously sweet post that shows the differences between the two and you nailed it!
I’m glad you enjoyed it! :)
Loved the bit about “the creep.” And the diapers. In fact I just saw an episode on Modern Family where Jay wanted to potty train their baby b/c every time he went to the store to get diapers the clerk directed him to the adult diaper section.
LOL!! I’ve never seen that show but that makes me want to see it. Thanks!!
Themed High School dances and parties. LOL! I was a teenager in the 70s, and when I see kids dressed up now to go to a 70s themed party, I see flashbacks in my head of how we really looked back then … and I can’t help but cringe inside. Wow! We really did look that silly. :)
Now I can sympathize with my mom when I went to 60’s dances in high school! :)
I am both. I had my kids 11 years apart. The big advantage of being an older mom is I was more patient and a little less self involved. The other stuff…a great big yes!
Yeah, I’m not sure I would have the patience I do now if I had become a mom at a younger age! Glad you enjoyed it! :)
Yes we must be of a similar vintage, and I have a 14YO… Heard it all.
I have 10 years for that, and I’ll be in my 50s then. I wonder if I’ll survive! ;)
The diapers and Duran Duran! LOL
I’m glad you liked it, Linda! :)
You forgot to mention that older moms also come equipped with a bit more wisdom!
Not forgotten, just not mentioned. I didn’t want to make younger moms feel too inferior. ;)
I love every single one of these! The other day, I was helping out in a science classroom and two 8th grade boys were banging an ice tray cube on the side of a table, confused as to how in the H to get the ice cubes to break free. The science teacher ran over and said, “No, no, no, boys! Don’t you know how to do it?” She showed them how to twist the tray and make the cubes pop out. All four of us laughed hysterically; she and I couldn’t believe that they had never had to do that before! They said, “We’ve always used automatic ice dispensers!” WOW. :)