I Forgot to Remember
Man, I really hate when I forget to do things. I don’t mean forget-to-go-to-the-dry-cleaners kinds of things, which I do on a regular basis, or even forget-to-put-your-dentures-in-before-going-to-work kinds of things, which I only do on an semi-regular basis. I mean things like “be independently wealthy” or “become the ruler of several small nation states” or “lose 15 pounds.” I had fully intended to do these things—heck, they were numbers 1-3 on my list, for crying out loud—and then, somehow, I just forgot. And am I ever steamed now that I have started remembering all the things I have forgotten to do. For example, it completely slipped my mind that my husband and I were going to the beach early next month, and consequently, I forgot to lose weight. (I did, however, remember to eat a giant bag of peanut M&Ms, so now I have to remember to pack my collection of tasteful muumuu ensembles for day and evening wear.)
It’s the same situation with the independently wealthy thing. Somehow I simply forgot to do it. This morning as I was struggling to stretch my double-digit checking account balance to cover a triple-digit credit card bill, I had a sudden “aha” moment wherein I exclaimed aloud, “Oh, shoot, I forgot to be filthy rich!” How could that have happened, I wondered? Had I, at some point in the past—a time I no longer recall, of course—rejected being filthy rich as a worthy goal? Had I, at some earlier time, also determined that being the ruler of several small nation states had too big a downside for me? I was pondering these questions quite seriously when I saw this quotation posted on my friend’s Facebook page that seemed to explain it all: I was going to conquer the world…but then I saw something shiny.
Wow, what a revelation! This explains everything, I thought. Never had I consciously rejected any of my original goals in favor of others. Never had I deemed them unworthy pursuits and redirected my course. I had simply gotten distracted. Why, several times I’d been on my way to filthy richness or even zip-my-jeans thinness and then I’d started picking at my acrylic nails or sometimes the pills on my sweater and lost my train of thought. Often for years at a time!
Oh, yes, I see it all so clearly, and now that I do, I am determined not to be distracted anymore. From here on out, it’s full speed ahead with to-do list items 1, 2 and—oh, my gosh, look, a rainbow! I love rainbows, such pretty colors, purple is my favorite color, I have a purple umbrella in my car, I need to wash my car . . . wait, was I saying something before about “full-speed ahead”? Yeah, I think I was. What was it? Oh, never mind, I can’t remember now. I guess I’ll just enjoy the rainbow!
Lee Gaitan has worn many hats in her 25 years as a professional communicator, from public relations writer and television host to stand-up comedienne and educator. She is the author of two books, Falling Flesh Just Ahead, and the recently released My Pineapples Went to Houston—Finding the Humor in My Dashed Hopes, Broken Dreams and Plans Gone Outrageously Awry. She has also authored a chapter in the bestselling book, The Divinity of Dogs, and is a blogger for The Huffington Post. Connect with her at www.leegaitan.com; ; .
I love starting my day out here I always know I am going to get a great laugh!
Vikki is amazing! I’m glad you stopped by today and I hope you got a giggle out of my guest post.
Love how you get those points across in the midst of making me laugh.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I feel like I have already forgotten what I said here! :-)
Forget? Um…yup. Feels good to be in such good – and funny – company! Hysterical!
Man, Cathy, doesn’t it just kill you when you start to remember everything you forgot to remember! I was in the middle of applying to be Queen of Everything a few years ago when I saw new pictures of John Hamm on Facebook and completely forgot to finish filling out the application. Crap!
All I can say is, “Squirrel!”
Ha!! Geez, now I can’t remember what I was going to say! ;-) Thanks so much for reading!
I’m so glad it’s not just me. I’m so distracted, sometimes it scares me. Then I just decide that stuff couldn’t have been that crucial or I would have written it on the back of my hand. Great stuff!
Ha! That’s what I call the real back-of-the-hand treatment! Thanks for reading!
Well, how’s this for timing–I was at the dog park tonight, thinking I had fulfilled all my obligations today, when I got a text asking why I wasn’t on the 7:00 scheduled conference call. Crap, I am so never going to remember to get rich!
Well it looks like I am in good company! Thanks for the chuckle!!!!
I think there are more than a few members in our club, Lynne, but I can’t remember their names now! ;-) Thanks for reading and commenting!
Also guilty minus the ruling…..what is the dog barking at now……
I think your dog is barking at…ooh, is that a new cat video…OMG, where are my blue sandals…well, Bryce, thanks for, um, writing, yeah, writing!