Just received another notice from Facebook that in this season of dinners out with friends and trips out of state to see the fam, we should avoid posting our holiday plans on Facebook until AFTER we get home. Seems an unfortunate side effect of sharing our upcoming itineraries with 850 of our closest friends is that some of our friends might have rather loose definitions of “gainful employment” and are using our posted information to burglarize our homes while we’re out.
Apparently “Jack and I are SO excited to be going to Bora Bora for TWO WHOLE WEEKS, from December 15-January 1. We’ve boarded the dogs because they just hate being alone, the little stinkers, and now we’re on our way. See you in January!” is just a big fat ‘ol invitation to come on in, and if you see anything you like, why, just help yourself! More experienced and brazen burglars have been know to drive up in moving vans and systematically divest the home of EVERYTHING, telling questioning neighbors that “Bob and Linda sold the house and are moving in with Aunt Margaret in Omaha, who had a stroke just last week, bless her heart.” Given the amount of personal information we routinely dispense on Facebook, this often works. Our friends and neighbors know all about Aunt Margaret’s stroke, and she does live in Omaha. And Linda really loved her aunt. All righty, then! Tell them so-long from the neighborhood, won’t you? Need any help loading up that piano?
But just when you thought they might get away with it…
News channels recently reported that a 17-year-old genius not only burglarized the house of a Facebook friend, he decided to VIDEO HIMSELF while doing it, and then POST IT ON FACEBOOK (yep, he did…he really, really did) for his 400+ friends to watch, including the homeowner, of course. (I love this stuff. You just can’t make it up!) Awesome, kid.
I don’t know which would be more disturbing. Your teenager now checking “Yes” under the “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?” question on his college applications, or knowing you gave birth to quite possibly the stupidest child on the planet.
So for those of you whose daughter just came home sporting a butterfly tattoo above her nether regions, or whose son pierced his left eyebrow without asking, un-ground them and give them a big hug. At least you didn’t have to post bail.