Just received another notice from Facebook that in this season of dinners out with friends and trips out of state to see the fam, we should avoid posting our holiday plans on Facebook until AFTER we get home. Seems an unfortunate side effect of sharing our upcoming itineraries with 850 of our closest friends is that some of our friends might have rather loose definitions of “gainful employment” and are using our posted information to burglarize our homes while we’re out.
Apparently “Jack and I are SO excited to be going to Bora Bora for TWO WHOLE WEEKS, from December 15-January 1. We’ve boarded the dogs because they just hate being alone, the little stinkers, and now we’re on our way. See you in January!” is just a big fat ‘ol invitation to come on in, and if you see anything you like, why, just help yourself! More experienced and brazen burglars have been know to drive up in moving vans and systematically divest the home of EVERYTHING, telling questioning neighbors that “Bob and Linda sold the house and are moving in with Aunt Margaret in Omaha, who had a stroke just last week, bless her heart.” Given the amount of personal information we routinely dispense on Facebook, this often works. Our friends and neighbors know all about Aunt Margaret’s stroke, and she does live in Omaha. And Linda really loved her aunt. All righty, then! Tell them so-long from the neighborhood, won’t you? Need any help loading up that piano?
But just when you thought they might get away with it…
News channels recently reported that a 17-year-old genius not only burglarized the house of a Facebook friend, he decided to VIDEO HIMSELF while doing it, and then POST IT ON FACEBOOK (yep, he did…he really, really did) for his 400+ friends to watch, including the homeowner, of course. (I love this stuff. You just can’t make it up!) Awesome, kid.
I don’t know which would be more disturbing. Your teenager now checking “Yes” under the “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?” question on his college applications, or knowing you gave birth to quite possibly the stupidest child on the planet.
So for those of you whose daughter just came home sporting a butterfly tattoo above her nether regions, or whose son pierced his left eyebrow without asking, un-ground them and give them a big hug. At least you didn’t have to post bail.
Wow, that kid wins the award hands done for stupidest kid on the face of the planet. I taught middle school and should know, lol!! Seriously, this was great!!!
You’re absolutely right, but people will continue to share their whereabouts, meals, shopping adventures and more…the need to broadcast our lives trumps the safety of our homes at this point in history!
That kid is just an idiot. No other words.
All I can say is “thank god that wasn’t my kid!”
PEOPLE DO THAT?!?!? What is wrong with the world today?! Ironically, I plan to share this on Facebook. As a warning, you know.
It amazes me how dumb people can be. When I was in high school and kid spray-painted a pot leaf the side of the school building for 4/20.
He proceeded to photograph the whole incident and posted it on Facebook that night.
“They’ll never check there!”
It reminds of a news story I once saw that two teenagers broke into an empty house to do “fun” things like break windows, put holes in the walls, and otherwise cause damage, Of course they videotaped it. If this wasn’t enough the teens actually asked the police if they could have the video back, like you said cannot make this stuff up.
I would not be FBing OR blogging my trips if I lived alone!!! Everyone, beware, while I am away my house is inhabited and guarded by my 6’6″ son and his wife, who is from the Amazon region of Brazil….Nuff said!!!
Oh man…they make TV shows on all the idiots that are on videos of their burglarizing bloopers. But your story here makes me giggle because you just have a way with words….
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! One of the local hooligans spray painted HIS OWN NAME on our white picket fence one summer. We decided that, if we have to have a hooligan nearby, at least he’s a dumb one we can catch. He would TOTALLY do something like that kid. (Wait…I wonder if it’s the same kid, actually!) ;) —Lisa
That’s scary. I went on vacation recently and made sure not to mention it until I get back. It was hard though. I wanted to share some of the stuff I saw on FB or Twitter. But I resisted. This confirms that I did the right thing. Part of me was thinking maybe I was being too cautious. Thanks for posting this!
I’ll be home with a good beer buzz, three darts and a recently sharpened pocket knife. Woe to those who come to my gates.
It’s unbelievable how much Facebook has become entangled in our lives. It’s like the social media equivalent of picking your nose in the car.
“No one will ever see me with these translucent barriers surrounding me on all sides”
I think it’s “knowing you gave birth to the stupidest child on the planet.” That would have to be it.
still remember watching youtube early on… two college kids video of their drunken night. one says to the other: go on, hit me with that two by four. and he did. right in the face. so maybe we should just run a “who’s the dumbest contest?”
FUNNY! Laughed all the way through. Thank you! And I’ll be more careful about what I post. Don’t want that kid coming around after he posts bond!