Nine months ago, Laugh Lines went “live.” I’d thought about starting a blog for some time, and had even halfheartedly tried it a year or two earlier. But it really had no purpose, no reason to exist, so when I quickly discovered that successful blogs are, plainly stated, a butt-load of WORK, my first attempt got tossed out the car window in favor of reading James Patterson’s latest novel on my Kindle.
Fast-forward 2 years, at lunch with my uber-agent/soon-to-be publisher, who insisted I get back on the horse and do it again, committing to a minimum of one year, with the primary purpose of building a readership that went beyond my Aunt Bertha and my bunkmates from cheerleading camp in 1973. Having no clear picture in my head of what the next year would bring or if anyone other than my mother and BFF would even read my blog (turns out my mother never did, so technically, I was actually down to one), I sat down to try again. Nine months later, I’m having the time of my life and I’ve discovered that many lessons we learn in childhood are great keys to growing your blog.
So today I decided to share my “Life Lessons Re-Learned from Blogging.”
1. You Get What You Give. Blogging is a shared effort, and you cannot expect others to do anything for you that you are unwilling to do for them. If you love comments, leave some. If you cherish Twitter RTs, get those RT thumbs flying. If Facebook page “Likes” put the yippy in your skippy, scroll around and “Like” a bunch. There’s a reason we learn this stuff in grade school. It still applies.
2. The Hardest Part is Getting Started. There’s nothing worse for a writer than staring at a blank computer screen and knowing you’ve got nothing to say. You’ve written everything good you’re capable of, and you’ll never have a creative thought again. Ever. Go for a walk, then pull up a chair and write something. Start with “Mary had a little lamb” and see where it goes. Just START. Some of my most popular posts started as rambling thoughts of an ADHD mind.
3. You Can’t Do It Alone. I read Facebook posts all the time by bloggers who are tearing their hair out trying to get some new widget to work, or who don’t know what a blog hop is, or who don’t have a clue how to design a business card. Guess what? Most of us didn’t know any of that stuff either when we started. Get connected with people in the blogosphere who’ve done what you’re struggling with, and ask for help.
4. Please and Thank You Go a Long Way. ‘Nuf said.
5. Be Yourself. Writers call this your “voice.” We all start with a certain writing style, but then we read other “better,” wildly successful blogs and it becomes tempting to mimic their style because obviously people love it. Big, big, as in huge, mistake. Imitating other writers can come across as awkward and stilted, and is unsustainable over the long haul. Your voice is what belongs on your blog.
6. More is Not Always Better. A lot of bloggers post every day, and I’m in awe. That kind of pressure would have me producing too much crap. Write only as often as you can write well.
7. Not Everybody Will Love You. This is a tough one. Bloggers often live through their statistics. Increased subscribers, comments, or Facebook page Likes can make us burst out into spontaneous, public happy dances. But unsubscribers, negative comments, or lost Likes can instantly spiral us into wails of “Why don’t they like me???” Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s your genre, maybe you remind them of the tramp their husband ran off with. You’ll probably never know. Toughen up and move on.
8. You Have to Market Yourself. Simply put, there’s no point in doing all this work if nobody ever reads it. There are people who believe that “if you build it, they will come.” Those people are still blogging to the 3 people they graduated with in 1989. Whatever your fears or misgivings are about social media, blog hops, or handing out blogger business cards to your drycleaner, get past them and start telling people what you do. They can’t read it if they don’t know about it.
9. You Can’t Be the Bride at Every Wedding or the Corpse at Every Funeral. Blogging is not a competition. It’s natural to get a little jealous when another blogger wins an award we’ve never been offered, or whose post gets tapped by Huffington Post, or who has out-of-this-world stats. “What about meeeee???” we cry. “I’m good too!!” Maybe you are. But maybe it’s simply not your turn. Many of these bloggers have been at it for years. They’ve earned it. Be happy for them. They’ll be the first to applaud when it happens to you.
10. Don’t Give Up. Yeah, this is easy on those days when we dazzle the blogosphere with our brilliance. Comments come flying in, RTs are lighting up our iPhones all day long, and our Facebook pages tally up new Likes faster than a step counter in a walk-for-the-cure. Then, inevitably, there are the days when the universe outs us as the hacks we really are. We spend the day in our sweats and bunny slippers, Googling rehab groups for failed bloggers (“Hi. My name is Vikki, and I wanted to be a blogger, but I really sucked at it.”) But if you’re truly a writer, put down the Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey Sundae, put on your full-butt, getting-down-to-business underwear, and get back in front of your computer to write. Your next post just might be one that nails it.
And so the journey continues. I don’t know how this will end or where I’ll land, but I’m having too much fun to care. Thanks for sharing it with me. MWAH!
Yay to the 9 months and sounds like you have learned a lot of invaluable lessons already so far. I am glad though you decided to try your hand at blogging again, because I love reading your hilarious posts and sharing them, too!! :)
Congratulations on 9 months! Your tips are so on the money!! I think one of the things that surprised me the most about blogging and one of the things I like the most is that connections you make. The support I have found is amazing, but I also love to show my support to other bloggers. It is work, but it’s so much fun that it really doesn’t feel like work, at least to me! Thanks again. I really enjoy your site and look forward to many more great posts!
GREAT tips! And such good encouragement for us all, at any stage of blogging.
Amen to all! I find it hard to believe you’ve only been at it for nine months.
I love all these lessons and relate well to them all, but especially number 6. Quality over quantity!
These are great lessons! You have accomplished a lot in nine months.
#1 is so very true. If you want to build a community, you have to be a part of the community.
I am impressed. I assumed you’d been at this for years.
Only nine months? Your blog baby is beautiful, Vicki! I’m only in my last trimester, so I appreciate your advice and look forward to raising my blog along side you!
Great advice Vikki! And as always, you put a big smile on my face. xo
Great points! One of my very best blogging friends is a woman who emailed me when we were both starting out with a question about something I had done that she wanted to do. She said that she had reached out to several other bloggers who ignored her. That made me sad, and worried for the community I was trying join. Thankfully, my experience has been wonderful. Almost everyone has been kind, welcoming, and fun. I feel blessed to know so many of the women I admire.
My blog is only a few months older than yours, so I can give you my hand me downs if you’re interested.
Congratulations on your first 9 months, Vikki! Your blog is one I always turn to when I want to laugh…clearly, your mother doesn’t know what she’s missing. :)
Great advice and tips. I am working on #7 today, dealing with my first really mean hater. Thanks for sharing these :)
Great post and soooo true! Reposting on my Facebook page!
Oh, I so needed this right now. Last night I lost a like on Facebook and I nearly threw a tantrum in front of my husband. That whole “Why me? Seriously. I’m a good writer. Pleeeeeaaassseeee like me!” Desperation is so not pretty.
My two biggest issues are me and my lack of content. The latter I can fix easily. The former? I just need to give her more coffee and an attitude adjustment.
Congratulations on the milestone. You’ve come a long way!
I think the hardest part is dealing with the stats. I know that many bloggers suggest that you shouldn’t pay attention to them, but I find that it’s difficult to plan your blogging strategy and move forward without them. Infuriating yes, but they do give you a sense of what’s working and what’s not.
Only nine months? I would have never guessed-you are such an amazing writer. You make me laugh with every post. Weeks like this when my life is in the crapper it’s the people like you that give me hope to keep going. This is all great advice-I especially love the part it just simply “Not being your turn.” Hopefully we’ll all get that coveted turn sooner or later!
Don’t forget that sometimes the “turns” are out of order, little miss been-blogging-for-only-nine-months-and-has-more-likes-than-me. ;)
I appreciate the guidance and encouragement. I’m new to the blogging world and learning all the time. As other people have commented, no one would guess you’ve only been at it for 9 months – your writing and wit is top-notch.
How am I just now finding your blog? This is unacceptable. Anyway, yes to all your points. I did a similar post a few months ago that I should go back and reread, because like you said, it’s easy to fall into all those traps. Then again, why reread my crap when I can reread your post instead? Win! Glad that I found you.
Thank you thank you! Loved this and need to get back in the saddle!
So, you’re saying, a blogger should actually be able to write? Interesting concept.
I love all of your reflections and learnings. I think you captured what so many of us are discovering about this crazy life of blogging. ;)
Very encouraging! Thanks!!
*MWAH* back atcha’!!
I needed this today! Did you write it just for little ole’ me??? I’m putting so much pressure on myself right now. I had such big plans of what I was going to accomplish my first year of blogging. My blog will be 1 in August and I’m being really down on myself and forgetting what I HAVE accomplished. And more importantly the friends I’ve made!!!
And #7 missy. You need to read that a few times too. :D
Great advice! and congrats on being a successful blogger in such a short time. That says a lot!
You are awesome Vikki keep on Blogging you keep me intertained all the time. I never know what you will come up with next. I do read it everyday. Love Ya!!!
FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! So good Vikki!
Love all your lessons Vikki! And SO TRUE! Especially with the please and thank you. And nothing drives me more crazy than leaving comments for people and A. getting no response back or B. never getting comments back in return.
Blogging is competitive as it is and I have much better things to do than read blogs that don’t reciprocate.
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(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
Raising-Reagan.com
So much valuable (and of course humorous) information. My mother never reads what I write although she would put her hand on a bible and say she has or even worse, says she reads my stuff all the time. I’m figuring that eventually I will get to writing about her and I don’t have to worry, she won’t read it.
I love your blog and your commitment. Keep keeping me laughing. I post your posts on my FB and twitter all the time.
In read everything you write and laugh out loud. But I don’t comment. Don’t take it personally. I’m your biggest fan. :)
I just praise danced through this post. GREAT advice Vikki!!! Nos 5, 6 & 10 are the gospel! *Drops $100 in the collection plate*
Great tips and congrats!
Having a blog doesn’t give you stretch marks. Thanks for the great top 10 list – look out Letterman!
Congrats! I also thought your blog was more mature. I actually kind of want haters… I think that would make me feel I’ve “arrived” as a blogger.
Congratulations!!!
Thanks for sharing your lessons learned~
It´s a good thing you got talked into blogging again, your posts are real and make me laugh. In a blogging world where appearances are gaining ground fast, you´re like a friend on the phone telling you about her day!
Hi, featured you on my Friday blog which will go live at 8 a.m. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for the inspiration.
Congratulations on 9 months. I just started visiting recently and I always leave laughing! LOVE your list — especially #1 and #6. Hope you continue once that year is up!
Great points to think about and remember. I’d like to add an addendum to #8. When I teach blogging, one of the first lessons is that you have to know what your purpose is in blogging. Marketing yourself, etc. is important only if you need to build a readership for some other end. Let me refine that: for some other market-oriented end. If your end goal is not something having to do with the marketplace, then you’re fine growing your audience in a more organic way.
Congratulations! It’s a bouncing hysterical blog!!
There was never a more true set of tips for bloggers everywhere. I was nodding my head so forcefully to each one that I almost got whiplash. EXCELLENT post, my friend!! –Lisa
Great piece and wonderful tips! I have to say that as a fairly new blogger, I still struggle with the “not everyone will like you” one. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because I don’t like it in “real life” either if someone is snarky or I accidentally offended someone.
All very well said. Congrats on those 9 months. You look great!! LOL
I especially love #9. As a newbie, I am reminded all the time to avoid making comparisons. I love the supportive community of the blogoshpere, love that everyone really just wants everyone else to succeed. The mere fact that your post is all about “Life Lessons Re-Learned from Blogging” and not “My Lips Are Sealed, Figure It Out For Yourself” is proof that!
Wonderful post! Happy 9 months :)
Great tips Vikki! And congrats on the bouncy baby blog. I can’t believe you’ve only be at this for 9 months. You’re blowing my mind over here.
I love your blog! I just started blogging 2 weeks ago and this is exactly what I needed to hear! Hitting the follow button….
Love you Vikki!
common sense but still needs to be said. i can see the difference one month of giving it an honest try to the next not so much effort. people just want others to be interested in them. im no different, but its something I really have to try hard to remember.
This was super encouraging, we’ve just started and often feel like we don’t know anything about any of this, but we want/love/need to write, so that’s what we’re doing, and trying to figure it all out as we go. So glad to have stumbled onto your site, it looks great!!!
Thank you so much for this! And I cannot believe you have only been at this for nine months. Time spent in the biz is irrelevant. Congrats on all your successes!
omigosh – so true, so true! And a delightful way to write about blogging angst! Thanks for the lift! You and I have both been blogging the same amount of time. If we’d had babies instead, we coulda been in the same Mommy & Me group! Ha! I’m off to read more of your posts!
Love this post! Just what I needed.
Very encouraging, Vikki! Your words go a long way even outside the blogging world :D
Hi there! I am co-hosting this week on the My Favorite Posts Showoff Weekend Blog Party. Thanks for connecting up!
I host a (Not SO) Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop and a TGIF Link Party over at my place — A Peek Into My Paradise… http://apeekintomyparadise.blogspot.com/ I would love for you to link up and follow (if you don’t already) if you like what you see. =) I follow back – I love making new friends!
Have a terrific week!
Hugs, Cathy
Agree, especially with the need to market yourself and that no one will like you all the time! Thanks for linking with us on the Creative Buzz Hop, and I’m sharing this!
Thanks for linking up for the Creative Blop Hop Vicki! Next week’s buzz word is celebrations. Hope to see you again. Love this post btw. I’m still in awe that you’ve only been at this for 9 months. Any tips and tricks are more than welcome! :D
Wow Vikki, after reading your post I wanted to comment but after reading all of the comments I felt like it had all been said. So I will just say thank you. I am very new to blogging, have found a lot of support and kindness. Now if I can just figure out how to accumulate all (or maybe just one or two) of the nifty buttons you have, I would feel like I accomplished something.
You’re welcome, Tammy! If you need design (or techno) help, contact Julie DeNeen at http://www.fabulousblogging.com. She’s…well, fabulous! She does all my blog design work and I LOVE HER. (And she’s reasonably priced. Bonus!)
I have had everyone of those thoughts usually all in the same day! But like you I have gained so much more. I absolutely love it and all the connections that I have made. To think I started because I am to cheap to pay a therapist!!
Rena, I never thought of it that way, but you’re right! Group therapy at its finest! :)
Totally agree with #6. I am an overposter and learning to tone it down. I am also learning that my blog will not die if I do not post every single day.
Kind of humbling, isn’t it? :) I went down to 1-2 posts per week, and my readership went up. They love less of me! :)
So true that More is not better & self marketing is on our shoulder. Just found your blog-wonderful stuff.
Thanks, Cindi! Nice to meet you on Laugh Lines! :)
Congratulations on nine months. I try to give back to other bloggers and writers by Retweeting, where my following is the greatest. Your tips are right on the money.
Great list Vikki! Thanks for this encouraging post. I couldn’t agree more, especially with #s 1, 3 and 6. And that last one, #6, is something I really have to thank you for. For the longest time, I’ve questioned myself about posting once or twice a week on average. I’ve been attacked by other bloggers (in a competition last year) for not posting everyday or as often as they do. When I responded calmly with “It’s not quantity but quality”, they got even angrier and said that was crap and that the true definition of a ‘BLOGGER’ is one who posts almost everyday. So, THANK YOU for the confirmation that quality is more important and that I can still truly claim the title ‘blogger’. ;-)) (Looking forward to reading more from you from the Women of Midlife!)
Joy, There’s so much conflicting advice out there, I finally had to filter it and do what I knew I could do well without having a daily meltdown! I’m in awe of bloggers who can post good content every day. :) Nice to meet you on Women of Midlife!
Such great advice! I Tweeted & G+ shared. I love your voice. Always.
Love it! Such great advice, especially #7. As a former people-pleaser, the very idea that not everyone will like me (or what I write), is enough to make me break into a cold sweat. I’ll keep working on that one, I guess!
Thanks Vikki, another great post.
Thanks, Wendy! It’s hard, but we eventually get a little thicker-skinned, I think. I’ll let you know when it happens to me! :)
Great post. Agree with everything, especially about writing in your own voice. And the marketing yourself, that takes more time than the writing. But we wouldn’t do it all if we didn’t love it.
Jennifer, so true! We must love it. Or we’re just nuts… :)
And you’ve done a great job!
Thanks, Janie! I’m having a ball. And love “A Pleasant House”! :)
Excellent advice!!
Thanks, Doreen! Great to see you on Laugh Lines! :)
Once again, I almost lost track of my comment while I was scrolling through the others to get to the bottom, thinking, “wow.” You really do walk that walk, amazing. And this post was on the nose.
Thanks, Susan! You just made my day! :)
Truth-isms all the way. ;-)
Hi Vikki! Every single one of these tips is so true. One of the best lists I’ve seen actually and I endorse. You are so right that a good blog is work…but I’ve found that there are LOTS of benefits if it is something you really want to do. I’ve always been envious of your humor (I’m far too serious for my own good) but like you say we have to write from our own perspective. I’m very glad you chose to start another blog instead of having a baby! ~Kathy
Fantastic advice!!