My daughter-in-law recently sent me a list of items my two-year-old granddaughter might like for Christmas. Apparently she’s discovered books, so her list included several traditional fairy tales.
The next day, I was at the local bookstore, leafing through some classic choices, and I suddenly realized how disturbing many of these stories might be to a small child. Seriously, these books could scare the crap out of a toddler. There are giants that eat small boys, forest animals that devour your grandma, evil stepmothers who want to kill you or lock you in a attic, and moms that abandon you in the woods to be cooked in a psycho-lady’s oven.
I understand that fairy tales have been around forever, that we grew up on them and (arguably) turned out fine, and that they provide children with enthralling examples of the triumph of good over evil. So before blog trolls accuse me of hating storybooks, children, and all things related to the sanctity of motherhood, I’m not suggesting a household ban on fairy tales. I do, however, question their validity as bedtime stories.
At two or three years of age, as our tiny progeny drifts off to sleep, listening to how Snow White’s stepmother put a contract out on her, then when that failed, deciding to poison Snowy herself, it feels less like a tale about a handsome prince and his beautiful princess living happily ever after, and more like a child’s version of Criminal Minds.
1. Little Red Riding Hood. A story about a little girl taking goodies to her beloved grandma, walking alone in the woods (yeah, good plan), while being stalked by a wolf that wants to eat her. Wolfie rushes to grandma’s house to get there before the little girl does, where he eats the grandmother, puts on her clothes, and lies in wait for the child. When she arrives, he kills her and eats her too. Good luck getting that kid to summer camp.
2. Hansel and Gretel. A tale about a poor, forest-dwelling family, where Mom decides to ease their financial burdens by having Dad take the two kids out into the woods and abandoning them. Dad doesn’t really like the idea, but he’s a pussy, so he agrees. Hansel and Gretel overhear the plan, so Hansel drops white stones behind them as they travel into the forest. The kids follow the stones and return home. Mom’s pissed, and instructs Dad to try again. This time, the children mark their trail with bread crumbs, but the crumbs get eaten by birds, and the kids are basically screwed. Eventually, they get lucky and stumble across a house made of sugar and candy, only to discover it’s owned by an old woman who plans to bake the kids in her furnace and eat them. She locks Hansel in a cage until Gretel ultimately shoves her into the fire and she burns to death. Wow. If you ever take your children hiking in the forest after this story, don’t be surprised to find them a little clingy.
3. Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack and his family were poor and starving. So Jack plants some beans for food, and they grow into a large beanstalk. Jack shimmies up the beanstalk and discovers that it leads to a huge castle belonging to an evil giant. The giant wants to eat Jack by grinding him into his bread. While in the castle, Jack discovers a goose that lays golden eggs. He steals the goose so he and his mother can live a life of leisure. On the next trip up, Jack discovers a golden harp. When he stole that too, the giant tried to run down the beanstalk to get it back, but Jack chopped the beanstalk down and the giant fell to his death. Jack and his mother lived happily ever after on the giant’s gold. The moral? Steal it, and kill the owner when he tries to get it back.
4. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. A young girl gets an evil stepmother, who is so jealous of her that she instructs a hunter to take her out and kill her. He won’t do it, so Stepmom decides to do it herself by giving Snowy a poisoned apple. Snowy runs away from home and moves into a house with seven men she doesn’t know. Eventually a handsome prince saves her with a kiss. The stereotypes in here are rampant (Stepmom is evil, girl is saved by boy), and Snow White’s decision to run away and live with a houseful of men she knows nothing about could have ended differently and is a stupid message to send to a little girl.
5. Cinderella. Again with the evil stepmother cliché, but this time with two equally nasty stepsisters. They’re all so jealous of Cindy that they make her a scullery maid and otherwise keep her locked in the attic with the mice. She never figures out a way to help herself, and years go by, until one day she gets a fairy godmother and a prince, who step in and magically change her life. Do we really want to teach our daughters to be helpless victims until a fairy godmother and a rich man suddenly materialize to solve their problems? One doesn’t exist, and the other makes up 1 percent of the population. I’d rather teach my granddaughter how to kick bully ass on her way out the door.
And so I put down the beautifully illustrated, but oddly dark, boxed set of Classic Fairy Tales and picked up the entire series of Winnie the Pooh and the Hundred-Acre Woods. I love that donkey. And I’m just not ready to explain those dwarfs.
I’m convinced Eeyore is my spirit animal. I think the reason those fairy tales are still around is because toddlers can be a little bit blood thirsty. They really like it when the bad old woman winds up in an oven a lot more than when the bad old woman learns the errors of her ways and begs forgiveness.
Vanessa, I love Eeyore! “It’s gonna rain.” :) And you’re right. Toddlers can be savages!
You can’t go wrong with Pooh Bear. :)
I agree, Roz. And Piglet, and Eeyore. My son loved Care Bear stories. I still like those better than Snow White for bedtime reading! :)
This is so hilarious but true! What was good enough for our children certainly is not good enough for our precious grandbabies!!!
Rena, that’s my thinking exactly! Just because we scarred our kids for life doesn’t mean we need to traumatize their offspring! Winnie the Pooh it is! :)
Haha! So true, my husband and myself JUST had a conversation about this yesterday! How about the nursery rhymes – London Bridge is Falling Down, anyone?
Thanks, Lauren! When my son was young, I didn’t pay much attention to the actual messages in most of these stories. Now, with my granddaughter, I actually read them first, then decide. Must be why they say grandparenting is God’s way of giving us a second chance! :)
Spot on and hilarious! I have always said these books were nightmares waiting to happen. At least that show “Grimm” gets it right. Ellen
Thanks, ladies! Believe it or not, what we get in the bookstores is the tamed-down version of many of these stories. In the original Cinderella, she didn’t invite her evil stepmother and sisters to live with her and the prince. She had them all executed. Wow. :)
I couldn’t agree more dear Vikki! My niece (who is much like a daughter to me) will soon be giving birth to her first born child. I’m very excited to be a Great Aunt for the first time … and I love reading bedtime stories to children … so several months ago I went shopping to buy some new books. I had the same thought as you about the “classics” as I shopped – so I opted to go the fun route instead. I bought other “classics” such as ‘When You Give A Moose A Muffin’ and ‘Amelia Bedelia’ and ‘Goodnight Moon’ and of course some Dr. Seuss books. When I read a bedtime story to my new Great Niece, I hope she’ll drift off to sleep with smiles and giggles instead of nightmares. :)
Thanks, Marcia!! My son also loved “Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum.” Mostly because it was so much fun to say, I think. After the 3rd reading, when I got to that part, I’d point to him and he’d shout it out. Interactive bedtime stories! :)
Ohhh but I ADORE Winnie the Pooh. Good choice.
I think fairytales are the kiddie equivalent of soaps for adults – yaknow, where you have portrayed to you a life which is SO awful that you come away feeling thankful that your own isn’t so bad by comparison.
I’m with you, Lizzi. Nobody does it better than Winnie the Pooh and friends! :)
It took me freaking years to get over the image of Rumpelstiltskin stamping his foot in rage and splitting himself in two.
Actually, I’m not sure I was successful.
My point exactly, Susan! Some of those stories can create visuals that can’t be unseen, ever.
Pooh, Tigger, and Eeyore for the win! This is a great recap of the GRIMM fairy tales, Vicky.
Thanks, Pattie! Yep, she’s getting the entire series of the tales of the Hundred Ace Woods. Go Grandma! :)
Fairy tales are just whacked out! If Lewis Carroll was on opium when he wrote Alice In Wonderland, what was on the menu when these were being written? Songs too – babies falling out of trees…a sadistic bunch they were! lol
Oh my, Linda, don’t get me STARTED on nursery rhymes! :)
Always have to have a prince charming to rescue the girl. That’s why I like “Frozen”. The girl takes care of herself. And the prayer I was taught as a child – “Now I lay me down to sleep…..if I should die before I wake…” Can’t imagine how I went to sleep after that – should have kept one eye open in case the death angel showed up.
Barbara, I’ve always thought that about the “If I should die before I wake” line in that prayer. It just seems a little dark right before you go to sleep…possibly never to wake up again. :)
Shout out to Eeyore. He was my favorite as well. And it’s definitely weird now reading the stories I read as a kid to my own daughter. All that violence does give me pause. Not to mention the anti-feminism.
Liz, what’s not to love about Eeyore? He’s adorable and just wants to be loved. No poison apples and grandma-eating forest creatures! And I agree, the messages to our daughters are wildly outdated. Go Pooh Bear! :)
So true…so true..scary stories, those bed time stories.
Still..better than Cujo.
You crack me up, Michelle! And you’re right, anything by Stephen King is pretty much in the “No” pile for bedtime stories, mostly because they would give Grandma nightmares more than the kids! Pet Cemetery, anyone? :)
Too funny and awfully true your synopsis of the classic stories.
I love good night moon.
My niece is a family doctor and had a patient of 3 come in with his Mom because he was jumping on the bed and fell and hit his head. My niece said she said to them” You know what the Doctor says? No more jumping on the bed” They didn’t get it. I was hysterical!
Haralee, I remember “No more jumping on the bed”! And now I can’t get it out of my head. :)
I find Hansel and Gretel to be the most disturbing of all the fairy tales, but it did not stop me from reading it, or any of the others. I have two favourites: Chicken Little and The Emperor’s New Clothes.
My children, now young adults survived the reading of fairy tales, I will read them to grandchildren one day, and all will be good because they are just stories. Heck, there are movies, cartoons, that are far, far worse these days.
I totally agree, there are far worse things our tiny tots could watch or hear (unfortunately)! We all grew up on these stories and turned out fine. This is just my tiny contribution to the little one’s peace of mind. For bedtime reading, less wicked witch and more Pooh bears. :)
Haha!! But We live “happily ever laughter” with you, our Queen of Comedy!
Why, thank you, dahling! You just made my day! :)
Let’s not forget Bambi! I haven’t. Gee, little deer, we will shoot your father and burn your mother up in a fire. Or, Dumbo…I still haven’t gotten the vision out of my head of Dumbo’s mother rocking him in her truck while she’s chained up inside a pen, before getting hauled off and leaving Dumbo an orphan. Sleep tight kids.
Kathleen, I forgot about Bambi! Right out of the gate, the parents are history. Seriously?? :)
I think the dad goes early, mom at the end. Horrible.
LOVE IT!!! As the grandmother of 5 granddaughters and 4 grandsons, I agree that the plots of these “fairy tales” leave a lot to be desired. I, too, want my grandchildren to know that they can be self-sufficient and that they don’t need to be rescued. The 100 acre woods are a good place to escape to, with a honey-loving bear and his adorable and cuddly friends.
Beverly, I agree. I’m a Winnie-the-Pooh grandma all the way! :)
And what about that classic film “Wizard of Oz”? We watched it every year and each time, including now, I am scared witless from those trees and flying monkeys.
OMGosh, Peggy, that’s so true! Hubs has NEVER watched the Wiz. He’s seen the previews with the monkeys, and he freaks every time! :)
Wow, I hadn’t heard this version of a lot of those! I like how the heros are often poor. Interesting. And Hansel and Gretel were abandoned children? Wow. I’m 28 and I think you’re going to have to pay for my therapy too.
I know, Aussa! I’m surprised we aren’t afraid of the dark, and how any of our generation goes camping in the woods is still a wonder! :)
Love it! So true! No wonder little kids can’t fall asleep at night! Makes you wonder why these were ever written!
That’s what I think, Lynne! After hearing about the writer of Alice in Wonderland, I’m convinced they were all high! :)
You make a good…and humorous point, but somehow these never scared me like they should have.
That’s because you’re a bad-ass! The rest of us are afraid of the dark! :)
I agree, these “fairy tales” are disturbing. Nursery rhymes too. Some of the origins of nursery rhymes would make your hair stand on end. Check out ring around a rosie. We, as adults, read these and are horrified. But kids find it incredibly funny that a wolf will eat someone or such. They don’t overthink things. Look at the violence in the old cartoons too. Just rolls off the kids’ backs it would seem. Amazing new children’s books out there now. A really good little book “Otis” by Lauren Long. Great story, enchanting illustrations.
That’s true, Josyn. Maybe it doesn’t bother them as much as it does the adults! I don’t mind the fairy tales in the light of day. I’m just not sold on them as bedtime stories. :)
You’re not kidding. Snow White gave me nightmares for years after my mother read it to me. Winnie the Pooh is a much better choice.
Same here, Cassandra! Snow White scared the crap out of me! Lovin’ me some Pooh Bear! :)
You know, when you put it that way…it’s nuts to look at those stories from this point of view. I think I would have put them back too.
Vikki!
In-frickin-sane! Why didn’t I think of that. You are priceless!