Sitting with a group of girlfriends at our favorite local wine tasting room, getting caught up on our lives, over lots of laughter, swapping gossip and tips on families, work, shopping, and husbands, when the subject inevitably turned to aging…what we love (grandkids!) and what we hate (gravity). Naturally, we immediately began collectively congratulating each other on how young we all look and how “50 is the new 40.” (How do you think we all became best friends? On this particular subject, objective honesty will get you tossed out of the boat. In a world that puts 14-year-olds on the cover of Vogue, one’s invite into our inner circle is determined simply by your ability to say “You look faaabulous” like you mean it.)
About halfway through the evening, I looked over and saw a woman staring at me from another table like she recognized me, but wasn’t sure from where. I gave her a friendly smile, and a few minutes later, she approached our table. I thought she was going to join us, but as I went to grab her a chair, she looked directly at me and said, “Hi. I’m new to the area, and I’m looking for a good place to get my Botox and other cosmetic injectables. You looked like you would know. Any recommendations?”
I LOOKED LIKE I WOULD KNOW??
As my friends choked on their wine in unrestrained merriment and I desperately searched my brain for how this might even be a SHRED of a compliment, I finally sighed, what the hell, and jotted down the number on a napkin. She left, all happy smiles, chatting on her iPhone as she walked out the door, while I debated running after her and asking her to book a two-for-one. Apparently I’m overdue.
Haha! Which reminds me, I’m overdue for mine …
Vikki, at 35 years old now, I feel there are days when I am already long overdue. God only knows what that says about me, lol!!
Botox terrifies me! There was this guy my dad knows who actually got botulism from it. I think his dermatologist must have operated in a storage unit, but still! Is it as bad as Bravo! makes it look?!?!?
I’ve done Botox, although some of my friends have. So..is this new person going to be in your new BFF? LOL!
Keep your friends close, but keep those “botox inquiries who are just jealous,” even closer.
Helene, come with us…We’ll get a group rate! Janine, you’ve got lots of time. Wait until 50. :) Kate, there are horror stories, but out of the millions who get it done, they’re fortunately quite rare! Janie, yep, I think I found a new best friend (although I suspect she talks too much… :) Gina, hahahaha! Great to see you on Laugh Lines!
Not brave enough for botox. When I was 30, I swore I’d never stoop to having cosmetic surgery, the only thing that stops me now is lack of funds.
I’m avoiding botox because my goal in life was to become Grandma (Clarice) Jensen. Learned how to crochet and make cookies, just to pose off her. I finally have the hair. Although, come to think about it, she had GREAT skin.
Rachael, I always smile when 20-something supermodels say “I’ll never have plastic surgery. I want to grow old gracefully.” Oh shut up. You’re 12. Talk to me when you’re 50. :) Joan, Grandma was fabulous, wasn’t she? Who knows if she would’ve Botox’ed or not, had it been available! :)
OMG! What a complisult! That’s crazy. How old did she look?
Hahaha! I’m not sure how I would have responded, but I think you did it more gracefully than I would have. I used to say I’d never have it, but I see myself becoming more and more open to it (the more and more I look in the mirror). :) Great post, Vikki!
O…M…G!!!!!! That is really the funniest thing I have read today. It’s totally one of those scenarios where I’m sure I would have been frozen in place and not known what in the world to say. You handled it like a champ. I need to hang with you! –Lisa
Kate, you’re right! It was a complisult! She was my age (ish). Hard to tell, since she Boxtox’s… :) Thanks, Cari! Yeah, I said “Never” when I was younger. Ha. At 50, I was in the waiting room before they opened. :) Lisa, glad you liked it! If you’re ever in town, let’s wine!
Oh Vikki, when I got to the bottom I spit soda all over my screen. I loved this!
Thanks, Angie! Glad you liked it! Have a great weekend!
Oh that is hilarious! I think I’m one of the last of my friends who hasn’t done botox yet, but I’m getting close…real close. And after this post, hell, may as well take the plunge! I can’t stand looking angry all the time with those frown lines between my eyes — I blame my kids of course! :)
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Emily! Word of advice: Go to a doctor or a trained nurse. You want someone who received more training than an afternoon continuing-ed credit (which they skipped to check out the Nordstrom semi-annual sale) This is not a time to economize! :)
Funniest ever! Love your candor!
Man, it IS interesting how we’ve all learned to lie about how faaaabulous someone looks – whether they really do look fabulous or not. OMG…I would NEVER tell a woman who’s 90 that she actually looks 90. That’s a great way to get a bag-bashing upside the head. lol.
I can’t believe that woman asked you that. Schnikes…and hilarious!
I woulda smacked her…though in a weird way, it’s a compliment too..Oh who knows?! LOL
Too TOO Funny! I can’t believe the nerve of that woman. Well I can since I have heard people say stupid things all the time but still, You certainly showed poise and grace.
Oh, that is great. What a fantastic….compliment?
Oh, that’s hysterical!! Your friends must’ve had a field day with that!!
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror the other day and thought, “man, I’m going to need botox one of these days”. I’ll remember to hit you up for the name of a good place. :)
P.S. From your picture, I can assure you that woman was giving you a compliment. You look mah-ve-lous, my dear!
xo
Thanks, Carol! You know me…Tell it all! :) Glad you liked it, Cyndi! Julie and Stephanie, yeah, I’m not quite sure… :) Thank you, Haralee! Good thing she didn’t know what I was really thinking! :) Dani, Glad I could bring you a laugh or two. And thanks for the compliment! :)
This is the funniest thing I’ve read today! Love it! As a mom with a three year old boy who is also old enough to be his grandma (I’m 44), I see all these unwrinkled moms every day. Grrr. I tried botox once and found out I’m allergic. Yay, me. So I just grin it and regret sun exposure for the past every single summer of my life.
Hi Kristi! So glad you liked it! Thanks for commenting! :)
What a great post! And great advice on this not being a time to economize is great! AND never go to a party where that continuing-ed credit was optional!
this reminds me of my favorite Jack Donaghy quote, “Rich 50 is middle class 38.” Ha!
I hope you got a referral kickback, Vicki! You looked like you would know – I’m still giggling.
Ha. Young people are stupid. Or are they? She did get the number.
Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it and please do tell the rest of us! Because I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you, those “You look faaabulous”es are NOT a lie!
Wow. I am pretty sure the don’t ask strangers about botox goes with don’t ask if someone is pregnant rule. You are obviously very nice cause I am pretty sure I would have been a little like WTF lady?!
That’s too funny! And exactly the kind of crap that usually happens to me. lol
That is a bit nervy and bold. You handled it gracefully!
Somehow, I’d like to think that she meant it as a compliment…rather than a reminder!
I’m laughing with you, not at you. I promise.
And this is why Kenny is afraid when he goes out of town! Only you would have some one come up to you in a restaurant to ask about botox. HAHAHAHA you crack me up!
Talk about a backhanded compliment… Actually I like complisult better. The 90 year old mom of a friend of mine has always said, “Whatever you do to your face, do to your neck.” Words to live by.