Kenny and I live in a beautiful, small Oregon town that is becoming known for its growing number of yummy wineries. As lovers of all things red and winey, we like to reserve Thursday evenings for our personal local winery tour, checking out tasting rooms around the valley.
This time we decided to drive up towards Mt. Hood to visit a local winery we hadn’t tried before. Quaint old Victorian house, with gorgeous landscaping and a majestic view of the mountain. Happily settling in, we were handed an extensive menu by the delightful young wine steward, eager to describe the glowing attributes of anything we pointed to. As we were making our choices, I asked him how people manage wine tours without becoming a driving hazard. He pointed to a metal bowl on the counter and replied, “You’re supposed to sip, swish, but then spit it out.”
Say whut?
ARE YOU NUTS?!?
First of all, public (and communal) spitting receptacles are just nasty, and secondly, I was raised with older brothers, so I’ve seen enough group hawking to last 2 lifetimes, and THIRDLY, the swish-and-spit thing is slightly reminiscent of a dental cleaning. Not to mention that while I’m swishing, you’re waxing on about the “beautiful ambiance, complex bouquet, and rich robustness, with just a hint of chocolate raspberry” of the fabulous wine that I’m NOT SUPPOSED TO SWALLOW?? Say hello to the point of wine drinking, you insolent pup. (Dear Winery, THIS is what happens when you hire 22-year-old beer drinkers to tend your wine bar.) I was just gearing up to ask young Edwardo when was the last time HE spit out his Pabst Blue Ribbon, but Kenny was stuffing me into the car, mumbling something about my “inability to conform.”
I have a better idea. We’ll hire a rooter bus with a paid, teetotalling driver, load up 30-40 wine-loving friends, and taste the wine like the good Lord intended. All the way to the toes.
I am with you what is the point of spitting out and not enjoying it. Oh well that is probably why I don’t do this often enough, because I’d probably be in need of AA, lol!! Great post Vikki!!
Crying with laughter!! Oh my Lord, this is SO funny!! Seriously, that would be like sampling desserts and then being expected to spit them out.
I am so with you. The first time I did a wine tasting, they told me to spit it out and I was all “Wait. What is the point here? I also need to test the after-effects of each wine. Duh.”
Thanks for this! :)
hahaha….I love wine tastings. The first one we ever did was part of a golf tournie that our team (my sister, brother-in=law and hubs) toke part in. The okanagan …it must have been the hottest day of the year. And we never did one before. “but when in Rome…” I was the designated driver cause the wineries mostly had only reds or chardennay’s left to offer…. all crap in my world. But the other passengers Looooved them. I only tasted a few sips here and there….it wasn’t until I was walking around a deli in a mall looking for muchies to take back to our rooms, that I realized how drunk I was. It was embarrassing. Note to self after that one…..pay the $$$ and do a van or bus tour.
Oh I’m with you on this…spitting it out — no way!! I think your idea of a bus is absolutely the way to go!
I’ve never understood this myself – isn’t part of the joy of wine tasting getting your buzz on??!!
I’m only just now, in the past year or so, becoming a lover of all things “red and winey.” I would never spit it out either…unless of course it was truly horrendous. Even then, I certainly wouldn’t do it in public. Great post filled with chuckles. Thank you!
I agree with you, Vicki.
I don’t like spitting. We occasionally visit Napa Valley and I try to keep my husband sober while I sip the wines ;)
Happy Holidays :)
Love. This. “Insolent pup…inability to conform…” You are a comic genius, lady. And yes, who the hell spits out WINE???
I am lucky in that my husband hates wine but I am with you, no way is that wine leaving my mouth with out going in to my stomach!
Great write up from one insolent, non conformist to another.x
Love it, your story that is, as for the wine there is something in it that gives me a headack with 2 sips so I would have to spit.
Love your storys, Thank you
I won’t spit, either. lol. Oh no, if I’m going to a wine tasting, I will taste and sip and drink, dang it! Haha. I might come home with my husband carrying me, but boy I’ll remember all the berry, oak, vanilla, and other lovely tastes of beauty. :D
ha ha ha!! I’ve always thought wine tasting was such a waste of grapes!! If you’re going to make wine out of them, the least you can do is freakin drink it!!
:D
I’ve given up drinking but when I did drink I used to look at people in wineries who tasted and spat as complete tossers. The only people who spit and don’t look like complete tools are judges in wine competitions! Spitting is gross, fullstop.
Love, love, love. I wouldn’t spit either.
I never understood the whole spit thing, well for wine, anyway. ha ha. I want to drink it, dammit!
This never made sense to me other than they don’t want people getting loaded….LOL If you are going to sample the wine, it seems you would drink it. Clueless on why you are supposed to spit it out.
Irish of Dedicated 2 Life