My brother called me and said he had recently met a woman he quite liked, but they were going through that semi-awkward getting-to-know-you phase, and since he’s charmingly reluctant to wax on about his attributes, he thought it might be a fun idea to have me write her an email, telling her what I thought about him. He gave me no other instructions or guidelines, so I was left to create this masterpiece on my own. Trusting guy, my brother.
I decided to address those issues I’d want to know if I was newly dating someone. Assuming we’re past wondering if he’s a bunny-burning-stalker-serial-killer, what else might I want to know? Hmmm. This is what I sent.
Roger asked me if I would be willing to share some things about him with you, but he left the what and the how to me, so I thought I’d give you a sister’s perspective. If I was considering dating a man I didn’t know, I’d talk to his sisters. We know everything, and are more than happy to blurt it all out, in tiny payback for streaking my 12th birthday slumber party in a pink tutu (yes, he did) or for hiding under my bed until I was almost asleep, then jumping out and scaring the bejeesus out of me on a weekly basis (yep, did that too). So here it is…
10 Things You Probably Don’t Know (But Should) About Roger:
1. He is funny and smart. This translates into fun to be around and easy to talk to. If you’ve been on the dating scene for more than, say, 20 minutes, you’ll know how rare this is.
2. He’s kind. His humor is never at another person’s expense. Nor at your’s.
3. He’s employed. In a big-boy-long-pants type job. Let’s face it. In this economy, it’s a valid question.
4. He has no behavioral or substance issues and has never belonged to any group with the word “Anonymous” in the title. Therefore, no one’s retirement account will be left on a blackjack table in Vegas or liquidated for a third stint at Serenity Lane.
5. His only child is grown. No awkward play dates at obnoxious pizza emporiums, eye-rolling tweeners who continually (and unnecessarily) remind you that you’re NOT their mother, or expensive custody battles with crazed ex-wives.
6. He has no crazed ex-wives. Ex-wives, yes, but they’re not part of his life, and they’re not crazy. Just idiots.
7. He’s fiercely loyal to the people he loves. He does not lie, and he does not cheat. (Again, good luck finding two of those guys in the same room.)
8. He’s romantic. Big time. He will write you poetry and take you dancing (ballroom, not bar). He rocks Valentine’s Day. You’ll be the envy of all your girlfriends (Hubs got me a Blu Ray player that he wanted, and tied a rose to it. Yeah, that’s how it is for rest of us…)
9. He’s got a rebel streak. He rides a Harley. But not in a mid-life crisis way. More like an “I’m cool, I’ve earned it, Here’s your helmet” kind of way.
10. His sisters adore him. Jakki, the sophisticated one, and me, the fabulous one. (Okay, that one was about me, but wth…my list, my rules.)
There you go, Ms. Tulip. I could sum it all up by saying that while it seems true that “the good ones are always taken,” every now and then, one pops up. And he’s a good one.
And they lived happily ever after…