Making my list of holiday needs (groceries, personal care items, cleaning supplies), and realize, to my horror, that it’s going to require a trip to the local Walmart. In December. Historically, I try to avoid Walmart between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Hot, crowded, filled with glassy-eyed moms and their over-sugared offspring screaming “Mommy, mommy, mommmeee!!” until they get the toy they’re frantically pointing a sticky finger at or collapse in a loud, sobbing heap in the middle of the aisle where you need to be (“Um, excuse me. Mind if I step over your kid? I need some shampoo”), all jockeying for position in aisles so heaped with holiday body wash gift sets and musical door wreaths that only one cart can be navigated at a time. Like two cars meeting on a narrow mountain road, one of you is going to have to back up. Cart Stand-Off is an annual holiday sport at Wally World, and some of these mothers spend all year working on their glare.
But since I have to go, Kenny offers to drive me down and help with loading the packages if he can wait in the truck. Sensing that’s as good a deal as I’m going to get, I quickly agree. The parking lot was predictably jammed, so he let me out at the door, promising to park close by so I could easily spot him when I came out.
45 minutes later, cart heaped with half a dozen plastic bags, I wheel it out, spying a white truck that looks exactly like Kenny’s, so I open the door, toss in the bags and hop in with a triumphant smile, at which point the wizened old Hispanic man in the driver’s seat bursts out laughing and exclaims, “Well, Merry Christmas!” then looks up and cries, “THANK YOU, JESUS!” Red-faced, I scrambled out as quickly as I could, grabbing my bags as he waved goodbye with a broad smile.
But to the old guy with the quick and delightful wit, if you’re ever reading this, thanks for the chuckle! And Merry Christmas to you too!
Haha! Glad you made it out of there relatively unscathed…
Oh, Vikki this was too damn funny and have to fess up and tell you this is so something I would have done. This is why I love reading your blog, because I totally get you!!
HAHAHAHA….wait a sec…wait for it….HAHAHAHAHA. I’m dying over here. Tears running down my face….HAHAHAHA. Ouch, my stomach hurts. HAHAHAHA.
Okay, I think I can type now…um…what was I saying? Oh…I had to read this whole thing aloud to my husband who also belted out laughing. Freaking HI-LA-RIOUS!!
I mean, who hasn’t gotten into the wrong car by accident? If you haven’t, you simply haven’t LIVED yet! The best was one time I kept clicking the unlock button on my key fab at my car. And it wouldn’t work. So I put my key in the lock. Still nothing. A guy walks up behind me and says, “Here, let me try.” It was his car. My identical car was one row over. Embarrassing? OMG.
That is hilarious!! It almost makes a trip to Walmart worth it. Almost.
Seriously, your life is like a TV show.
Thanks for stopping by, Jenn, and another HUGE thank you for featuring me on your blog! People stop Kenny all the time and ask him “Did she REALLY __________???” and he always replies, “You have NO idea…” :)
Oh my goodness… I have feared that I would do that a few times… one of the reasons I always send my husband in the store while I drop him off. This was awesome. thanks for the laugh… as usual! :)
OMG, Vikki! You are a brave woman…for actually admitting to this. :) I’ve literally been in the other seat. And I don’t know how I’d react if I were the one getting into the wrong vehicle. :)
I was sitting outside of the courthouse, waiting for my mom to pick up some paperwork and this very frantic older woman jumped into my jeep and started giving instructions on where she desperately had to go to next before the office closed. I looked at her in stunned silence when she turned to me in mid-sentence, “Why aren’t you driving yet…….oh! I am SO sorry! This looks just like my son’s jeep!”
My mom walks up to my jeep just as the stranger is getting out and looks at me funny, wondering what’s going on. “I’m just interviewing your replacement.” Mom fumed for the rest of the afternoon. Yes, I was an evil daughter. :)
That is funny! You are lucky he didn’t drive off as a Christmas miracle!
Last year I had a young man jumped into my car outside a Starbucks with 2 coffees in his hands. It was raining monsoon like, but you should have seen his face when he turned to give me the coffee! It still makes me laugh.
I actually gasped out loud reading this! You are always surprising! Hilarious …
Gosh…this was so funny and you sure did make someone’s christmas brighter :)
OMG! I love this story more than I can say!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! And his response to having you hop in his car…priceless. LOVE IT!!! (and I so love your first picture because I ALWAYS forget the main thing I went in for when I’m at the store…always!) Love this post!! :)
Oh, this was too funny! For the record, I don’t Wal-Mart even when it’s not the holiday season.
Oh how funny, I am laughing so hard.
HeHeHeHe!!
Oh my gosh…that woulda been so funny to be the guy! LOL. I can totally see myself doing something like that too :)
Loved this! Walmart during the holidays is terrifying, but I venture there when I must. Never climbed into a stranger’s car, but a stranger tried to do the same thing to me, and I about had a heart attack, sure I was being abducted. He felt really bad..LOL Visiting from Finding the Funny. Thanks for linking up!
Thanks, Paige! And thanks for commenting!
Ha! What a way to enjoy my third cup this morning! I swore off Walmart forever, but now I wonder how I’ll ever have a story like this in my repertoire if I am never to return. But I am sure I can embarrass myself equally well at Target or HEB.
Eesh! I’m not sure what’s worse… the Walmart experience or the jumping in a random guy’s car!
I honestly just BURST out laughing all alone reading this! That is an AWESOME story!!
LOL!!! What a funny story. I laughed so hard I nearly woke up my sleeping niece whom I’m watching tonight. Thank goodness he was a nice old man and not a crazy. :)
I hope you are having a lovely week my dear and thank you so much for linking up to last week’s Aloha Friday Blog Hop.
If you have time, we’d love to have you come back and link up to the Aloha Friday Blog Hop if you haven’t already!
Aloha,
Jean {What Jean Likes}
Thanks so much, Jean! Glad you liked it! I did link up last week to Aloha Friday, and will do so again tonight! There are some terrific bloggers there! :)
You can tell Kenny that I think one of our repeated questions to each other will now be, “Have you read Vikki’s latest?” He told me the story, but I had to come over here for myself and read it. I love him dearly, but he could never do your writing justice. Love the way you tell a story.