Woman vs. Nature. I’m Going Down

I hate nature

Generally speaking, I love the outdoors. Warm summer temperatures make me want to ride a bike, plant flowers, go for evening  “Howdy, Neighbor” walks to wave at all the people we haven’t seen since last summer, and spend long, lazy days in the sun with a fat book. Unfortunately, Mother Nature doesn’t appear to reciprocate my feelings. In fact, […]

Getting Married? 10 Worst First-Dance Songs Ever

funny-lion-singing-mouth-open

I love weddings. The flowers, the tulle, the gowns, the anticipation and celebration of everlasting love. It’s all so romantic and beautiful. But the planning of the blessed event can be anything but. As summer wedding season hits full stride, wedding planners across the country scramble through flurries of last-minute details so the Big Day can go forward without a hitch. There are […]

28 Best Momisms About Beauty

katherine hepburn

My mother was a MILF. Of course, she didn’t know it at the time. It was, after all, in the 1960s, and MILFs were 40+ years down the road. When I was in my teens, she would have been referred to as “hot,” or “a fox.” Suffice it to say, she was stunning and all my teenage boyfriends loved her. […]

Living the Frugal Life. Not so Much.

world owes me a living

One recent, sunny afternoon, I decided to make a quick stop at the Taco Bell drive-through and, feeling pleased with my sudden surge of frugality, I reminded the clerk that I was eligible for the senior discount. He replied that although they didn’t actually have a discount, they did offer “older people” a free soft drink. Resisting the […]

Today I Fired my BFF

awesome bubble

I recently read an interesting article about self-talk and the things we say to ourselves every day. Apparently, therapists generally agree that if Hubs or a friend spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves, we’d kick them to the curb right freaking now (okay, I paraphrased). The writer pointed out that since the person we […]

Not Tonight, Dear, I Have a Headache. 15 Reasons Why

deadly tips

In any long-term relationship, regardless of the love and commitment of the two people involved, sexual desire is going to ebb and flow. Experts assure us it’s normal and natural. Desire can be impacted by stress, hormones, illness or medications, foods we’re eating, alcohol intake, and a host of other human conditions or behaviors, and doesn’t automatically indicate trouble […]

This Wasn’t in the Manual. Epic Mom Fails

pee sheet

A recent study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that many grandparents lack satisfactory knowledge of today’s safety guidelines for children. It seemed the majority of those grandparents surveyed gave the wrong answer to questions like the best position for infants to sleep, the correct positioning of a car seat, and  whether walkers were good devices to help babies learn to […]

Menopause Killed My Inner MILF

Price-Drop-on-Frozen-Foods

Google “Benefits of Menopause,” and you’ll get 8,570,000 possible links. Over 8 1/2 million articles written on how menopause makes us stronger, sexier, more confident, and more at peace with our bodies and our sexuality. Not to mention the exhilarating freedom from periods, bloating, cramping, PMS, and the constant worry about pregnancy, however slim the chance. What they […]

I Went Camping. And I Liked It

camping wrong

Those of you who have known me for more than, say, 20 minutes know that I don’t camp. Hubs has been trying for years to get me fired up about it. “It’s great,” he repeatedly assures me. “The stars are brilliant. The air is clean. It’s quiet and peaceful. It’s nature.” That may be true, but that’s not necessarily a […]

20 Fashion Trends I’d Like to See Die in 2014

vagina

I love fashion. Clothes, shoes, boots, accessories, handbags…all shiny and new, promising, if not actually a better life, certainly a better-dressed one. Which is not to say that I’ve always made good choices. Closet purging over the years has unearthed mortifyingly large piles of Goodwill donations that have included clogs (clunky wooden shoes. Yeah, those got me a lot […]