Age Appropriate Style. It’s Not Just About your Mother Anymore

thong

I remember the first time I was called “Ma’am.” I also remember finally being called “Grandma.” And I clearly remember when I exchanged showing my ID to order a drink with showing my ID for the senior discount. But none of those moments made me feel as old as the first time I ventured out of a […]

The 7 Deadly Sins of Beauty

temptation

One of my favorite and most enduring Momisms from my childhood is “The only difference between a plain woman and a beautiful woman is God or a boatload of money.” Setting aside the whole “inner beauty is the only true beauty” argument that has been gaining foothold in our culture over the years, I’ve found that, at least on a superficial level, Mom was […]

I Read Snow White to my Granddaughter. Now I’m Paying for her Therapy

prince

My daughter-in-law recently sent me a list of items my two-year-old granddaughter might like for Christmas. Apparently she’s discovered books, so her list included several traditional fairy tales. The next day, I was at the local bookstore, leafing through some classic choices, and I suddenly realized how disturbing many of these stories might be to a small child. Seriously, these […]

Write a Book, They Said. It’ll be Fun, They Said. I Did. It Was. IT’S HERE!

Shake_bookcover

  For the three people I haven’t told yet, IT’S HERE! I’m beside myself with glee to finally announce the release of a two-year-long effort, my first book! Available NOW on Amazon.com (Softcover). I’m kind of loving the Amazon.com description: “Erma Bombeck meets Michael J. Fox in Shake, Rattle & Roll With It: Living and Laughing with Parkinson’s. […]

Trying to Lose Weight? 12 Stupidest Weight Loss Tips Ever

skinny person

Recently I saw a television interview with a self-proclaimed money expert who said that if you want to get rich , you should start a religion or discover a new diet. Apparently a great majority of Americans are spiritually confused or fat. Notwithstanding the fact that we live in a culture where a size 12 […]

How to Make a Halloween Costume Without Spending a Dime

halloween pets

Okay. I admit it. I’m a Halloween curmudgeon. I just don’t get this day. It’s an outdoor event, in late October, when it’s invariably rainy, dark, and cold, primarily revolving around scaring the crap out of sugar-crazed herds of costumed tater tots, while simultaneously encouraging them to approach total strangers for candy (subsequently undoing years of stern lessons about […]

How to Apologize to Your Wife

deadly tips

Recently, over tacos and icy margaritas at our favorite local taco wagon, Hubs and I (and everyone else) overheard an argument between a young man and his wife that went from zero to 60 the instant he blurted out, “God, you sound just like your mother when you say that.” Obviously this wasn’t a compliment, because she looked horrified and burst into tears. As […]

10 Lessons I’ve Learned from my Middle-Age Body

boobs in coffee

Last month, I turned 58. As in “years old.” Fifty. Eight. I don’t care who you are, 58 is no longer “young.” Body parts have shifted downwards. Skin has lost its memory yarn. Thighs ripple when we’re standing still. Once-defined triceps now flap like sheets on a clothesline. Weight has moved into our hips and bellies with the tenacity of squatters on the […]

What Women Love About Marriage

marriage

A few weeks ago, I was thrilled to have a post reprinted on a wildly popular blog called Scary Mommy. (Thanks, Jill Smokler!) It was called “25 Things Women Want in a Pre-Nup,” written simply as a lighthearted list of things men do that drive their wives crazy. It was a compilation of hilarious comments (taken from a boisterous and merry group […]