How an Eating Disorder Taught Me the #1 Rule For Achieving a Healthy Body
By Linda Melone
I spent many years hating my body. It all began in my late teens. At that time a certain modeling school was all the rage. I won’t name names but let’s call it Carbizon.
I decided to become a world famous model, and enrolling in this school would be my first step.
I soon found out their popular tagline translates to, “Be a model or just look as if you’ve wasted a boatload of money learning how to apply lipstick and walk a straight line.”
But I digress.
The Carbizon modeling instructors told me I needed to weigh 105 pounds at the most if I ever wanted a shot at modeling stardom. (I don’t remember my weight at the time, but I was healthy and did not need to lose weight.)
They conveniently left out the part where I would also need to add at least six inches to my little ol’ 5’4-1/2” self and, oh yeah, a couple yards of legs would be nice, too.
But hey, I could lose weight, right? I dropped the weight fairly easily. After all, I was 17.
Then a weird thing happened: I couldn’t stop. I became obsessed.
I’ll spare you all the gruesome details, but let’s just say I was anorexic before it was even in fashion. I only wish I was a trendsetter in other ways.
At 89 pounds I looked emaciated, felt miserable and I couldn’t sleep because I was literally starving. I would wake up in the middle of the night and raid my parents’ candy dish.
Since no one recognized I had an eating disorder (remember, eating disorders were not a thing yet), it took me years – YEARS – to get to a healthy weight. It eventually happened from the sheer exhaustion of trying to live on 300 calories a day. The extreme deprivation and obsession lasted well into my 30s, although to a lesser extreme. For the longest time I felt I was too fat if I hit 105 pounds.
Craziness beyond belief, which I recognize now.
I’m telling you this story for a reason: The news has been abuzz lately with stories about body acceptance and loving yourself just as you are, no matter what your size.
After spending the past 40+ years trying to do just that I am certainly a huge fan of learning to love yourself. Huge fan.
But as much as I want every woman to love herself and her body, this trend has at times been misinterpreted.
Here’s why: There’s a fine line between self-acceptance and giving up.
If you live a sedentary lifestyle, eat pizza for dinner three times a week and don’t make an effort to in any way towards a healthy body, that’s not self-acceptance.
That’s throwing in the towel.
Here’s my #1 healthy body rule to live by:
Self-acceptance and loving yourself involves doing the best you can to create a healthy and happy body and mind.
Notice I didn’t say thin. It’s not all about weight. However, if you do all the right things, your weight will naturally fall to a healthy number. It happened to me, even though it took many years.
Your weight may be a little higher than your ideal goal, but once you get there it will be relatively effortless to stay there.
You simply keep up the good work.
This is one reason the tagline of my new book, Break Up With Your Fat After 50: a step-by-step guide to an ageless body, isn’t about being thin or even fit, but ageless. A healthy body is an ageless body because life is too short to try to be anything other than your own unique and wonderful self!
Along these same lines, one of the worst things you can do is “fat talk,” a term used to describe a trend where women bond through complaining about their bodies. It’s more common among college-age women but I hear it from women our age, too. It’s when you complain about your belly or other body part and others chime in.
Even if you don’t say it out loud, it’s not healthy to even think these thoughts in your own head. It’s destructive and hurtful, especially when it comes from your own gorgeous self.
It’s not easy. I still catch myself focusing on something I want to change and have to consciously tell myself to “stop it!”
If you’re not happy with your weight focus on your striking eyes or shiny hair or long legs (which I only wish I had! See? I did it again…). Play down the parts you’d like to change and bring out your good points. And, as I said, keep up the good work and you’ll see changes, trust me!
Now go forth with your fit, fab, ageless and totally self-accepting self!
Your Ageless Body After 50 Coach,
Linda Melone is a pastry chef turned certified personal trainer (long story) with 15 years in the fitness business. She now spends most of her time writing for outlets such as Prevention, Woman’s Day, Family Circle, AARP and tons of online sites. For more brilliant posts (and videos) like this one, check out www.LindaMelone.com.
Carbizon–that cracked me up. I remember those commercials. Good points about “Acceptance” vs. “Giving up.”
Thanks, Leslie! That “school” was more of a nightmare than I can even begin to tell you…
–Linda
Preach it, sister! Much truth in this post. Much truth.
Thanks Carol! :)
Self acceptance is everything. Yes!
So true, Linda! Thanks.
I worked with a girl who battled Anorexia. It was a constant fight with the calculator in her head. Years later she still said she had to make a conscious effort to shut down that calculator. Great post. Am sharing!
Thanks, Kelly!
Since my own experience I’ve interviewed many eating disorder experts for various articles. On one or two occasions, at the end of the interview I’ve divulged that I once battled anorexia.
The doctors are always interested to know how I got out of it on my own. I tell them it took many years but exhaustion eventually won out. I just got tired of all the calculating and avoiding food — not to mention starving!
I’m one of the lucky ones, though. Sadly, many women don’t make it.
I am so happy when I see articles that put the focus back on being healthy and happy, rather than being thin, not thin, whatever. If we all made that our goal where eating and fitness are concerned, I truly think we’d have far fewer body image issues. Great article!
Thanks, Lisa! It’s so true. Strive to be healthy and your weight will fall to its natural healthy level on its own most of the time :).
Linda