I get my ass kicked. Everyone around me jumped up and down in Lululemon workout gear, while I sported the very latest in ratty maternity wear circa 2005. Not that I just had a baby or anything as frightening as that. It’s just that all my comfy, old maternity clothes wound up as pajamas […]
Finding the Funny with Guest Blogger Linda Melone
How an Eating Disorder Taught Me the #1 Rule For Achieving a Healthy Body By Linda Melone I spent many years hating my body. It all began in my late teens. At that time a certain modeling school was all the rage. I won’t name names but let’s call it Carbizon. I decided to become a […]
Trying to Lose Weight? 12 Stupidest Weight Loss Tips Ever
Recently I saw a television interview with a self-proclaimed money expert who said that if you want to get rich , you should start a religion or discover a new diet. Apparently a great majority of Americans are spiritually confused or fat. Notwithstanding the fact that we live in a culture where a size 12 […]
10 Lessons I’ve Learned from my Middle-Age Body
Last month, I turned 58. As in “years old.” Fifty. Eight. I don’t care who you are, 58 is no longer “young.” Body parts have shifted downwards. Skin has lost its memory yarn. Thighs ripple when we’re standing still. Once-defined triceps now flap like sheets on a clothesline. Weight has moved into our hips and bellies with the tenacity of squatters on the […]
It’s Swimsuit Season. Pass the Milk Duds
Enjoying the warmer temperatures and anticipating upcoming spring weather, I took a look at my all-black closet and decided to go do some spring shopping for a little color. My plans took a slight shift when Kenny announced he’d like to join me, but then I envisioned a few new purchases, with a stop for […]
I’d Save my Seamstress. Everybody Else, Out of the Boat
You know those stupid board games that have questions you need to answer truthfully, or lose a turn? Yeah, the ones that invariably turn an amicable evening out with family and friends into a war zone of hurt feelings, bathroom brawls, and an occasional divorce (although to be fair, you didn’t HAVE to truthfully answer […]
The Standing Tree Pose is For, Well…Trees.
Feeling a bit stiff these days, so decided to get a yoga DVD and try to regain some lost flexibility. (Who am I kidding? I’ve never been particularly “stretchy.” A long lineage of German peasant stock has resulted in a sturdy gene pool built for power, but not a toe-toucher seated anywhere around the dinner […]
Next Time, I’m Reading the Instructions
Went shopping this week and bought some new sneakers with little balance pods on the soles. Kind of weird looking, little spongy pads guaranteed to improve your balance and posture “while you walk!” Who could resist? One might think that after three decades of working in sales, I would at least be a tad skeptical, […]
But Experts Recommend a Workout Buddy…
Up early this morning, working out in my office, to a newer, kinder DVD series (think Richard Simmons meets Jane Fonda: The Later Years”) that alternates recalcitrant upper and lower body parts each day with a series of floor exercises and cardio. Somehow, I find lifting that barge & totin’ that bale, shimmying & shaking […]
Dear ebay, I’ll Pay Shipping
Decided it was time to get my 50+ (Okay, FINE. 56) -year-old body back into shape and so, in an obvious moment of self-delusion, ordered the P90X Extreme Workout DVD Kit. Guaranteed to give you rock hard everything in 90 fun-filled workouts! Anxiously await my 12 DVDs, plus Nutrition Guide and “Workout Success” wall chart […]
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