I was in middle school when I began to be aware of my weight. In hindsight, looking at photos, I realize now that I should have worn the bikini. By virtue of my youth, I looked great. But at the time, my awareness was limited to how tiny and thin the other, uber popular girls were. The […]
The Seven Deadly Sins of Beauty
One of my favorite and most enduring Momisms from childhood is “The only difference between an ugly woman and a beautiful woman is either God or a boatload of money.” Setting aside the whole “inner beauty is the only true beauty” argument that has been gaining a foothold in our culture over the years, I’ve […]
My Scale Mocks Me. She Needs to Die
I have a confession to make. No, it’s not my unwavering love of all things red and winey. And it’s not my 20-year, auto-renewed subscription to Star magazine. Or even that when I get stressed, Lucky Charms is my go-to comfort food. For all three meals. So here it is: I am a weigh-in addict. I […]
7 Quick Fixes to Look Better Now. (Warning: Not for the Timid)
Hubs and I recently decided to schedule a date night. We’ve both been crazy busy lately, and we were feeling overdue for some romance time. We chose a date, then he booked the reservation for two at our favorite child-free restaurant. The only thing left to decide was what to wear. Hubs grabbed his one pair […]
Jeans Shopping. The Reason God Invented Yoga Pants
Stop the first ten women you meet in the street and ask them for their least favorite clothing item to shop for. Eight of them will say “swimsuits.” But, bikinis aside (since most boomers haven’t tried one on since 1989), even well-cut, one-piece swimsuits have a way of outing our last dozen diet failures and […]
Marriage and Dieting. Sometimes It’s a Team Sport
Hubs and I have been married for 16 years. Over that time, he habitually tells everyone he meets that he’s learned a lot about women in those years. Apparently, his first two wives weren’t what he calls girly-girls, so he came into our relationship with only a rudimentary understanding of the term “high maintenance.” Hubs […]
Resolutions. Sometimes You Have to Get Creative
Sitting down to write out my New Year’s resolutions for 2016 (which would be more accurately titled “Dumb Ideas I Have No Intentions of Following Through On in This Lifetime”), and it occurred to me that I could just dig out all my lists from the last ten years and copy & paste them, with a small […]
When a Dessert Should Just Be a Dessert
I confess. I have a sweet tooth. I love dessert. In a civilized world, we’d start with dessert and work backwards, finishing our meals with a salad, if we had any room left. Cake with lots of frosting, cookies, brown-betty pies, and brownies with nuts, I love it all. (I gained 65 pounds from a 9-month pregnancy […]
If Women Ruled the World
I came across this quote one day that instantly had me laughing out loud, and my brain began writing a post even before I rushed down the hall to my office. “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime, and lots of fat, happy women.” ~ Marion Smith After much not-so-serious thought, and a […]
Things I Fail At. Every. Single. Time.
I was watching The Voice recently, and I found myself imagining what life would be like for someone with that kind of talent. These people were amazing, and I imagined that the world must be like a nonstop birthday party for the lucky few that could belt out a heart-wrenching rendition of “Endless Love” and turn it into a […]
Closet full of clothes, but nothing to wear? Grab my FREE "Ninja Closet Cleaning Course (what to toss, what to keep)," and find out how to love your clothes again.