My husband has never read my blog. Not once. Not. A. Single. Post.
In his defense, he hates the computer, and generally sees it as a huge time-sucker that exists purely to frustrate him whenever he tries to look up the price of used fishing boats for sale within a 65-mile radius. If he needs to launch a computer search for any item, he simply slaps a Post-It note in front of me with said item scrawled down and a directive to “Find this for me.” Otherwise, he avoids my office, and all related technology, like the Nordstrom Semi-Annual Sale.
On the other hand, living in a small town, where everybody knows everything about everyone, he’s come to the realization that a.) I have something called a “blog,” and b.) it apparently talks a lot about him. He came home last night and declared, “Today I ran into another 3 people who read that blog thing you do, and they think it’s hilarious that I’m afraid of spiders. What the hell are you telling people, woman??” Since it was becoming obvious to him that people around town knew more about him that he did, he decided it was time to learn a little bit about that “blog thing I do.” I promised to give him the short version, and “for God’s sake, stop talking” if his eyes started to glass over. And so the lesson began.
A “blog,” I explained, “is simply a personal journal on the computer, that other people can read.” “Like a diary?” he asked. “Yes.” “But diaries are for 12-year-olds. And they’re private. You’re 56. And you want people to read it?”
“Well,” I replied, “I’m not writing ‘Mrs. Kenny Claflin’ over and over in my little book, with little pink hearts in the margins. It’s not that kind of diary. More like personal anecdotes that hopefully people find funny. My blog is entertaining. But there are blogs on cooking, travel, parenting, and even fishing.” NOW I had his attention. “So even guys do this?” he asked, skeptically. I assured him that some of the most successful bloggers today are men, but I could tell that that portion of the lesson would have to wait until after the second margarita.
Then he looked over and dropped The Big Question. “So how do you know if you’re any good?”
“Most bloggers check their stats,” I told him. “We look at things like number of subscribers, page views, total comments, Facebook page ‘Likes,’ Twitter followers, or how often a post is shared or retweeted.”
“Okay,” he replied, “I don’t know half of what you just said, and I’m pretty sure if I ever use the word ‘retweet’ on the job site, I’ll never work in construction again, but statistics are meaningless unless you compare them to other statistics. So how do you do that?”
We sat down in front of my computer and I fired up a few of my favorite blogs. “See this one? She’s great. She’s got 1200 Facebook ‘Likes.'” “How many do you have?” he asked. “Right now, 5000 or so.” “What does that mean?” “It means I’m doing good,” I smiled, “Until you see this one. She’s got 10,00 ‘Likes.’ Now I suck.”
Then I showed him a Twitter account. “See, she’s got 2300 followers. I have 4500. So I’m feeling pretty good. Until I see this one. She’s got 15,000. And before you ask, that means I suck.” “Wow,” he said slowly, “this blogging thing is kind of brutal. Why do you do this?” I thought about that for a moment and replied, “Because the words have to go somewhere. The stories are inside my head, and my blog gives them a place to go.”
As I struggled to explain exactly why I spend untold hours in front of the computer, between work, family obligations, and social commitments with people who are actually standing in the same room (as opposed to a Facebook page), I replied, “It’s a connection. Writing can be a very isolating. Blogging gets you involved with other people. Maybe they’re readers who stop you at Safeway or send a comment to say they love your work, or they’re other bloggers who understand your passion, the highs and lows, the glory days of great posts, and the days it’s clear you’re a total hack and should become a middle-aged cocktail waitress at the local Elk’s Club. It’s not only about the writing. You’re sharing energy.” “Okay,” he said, “I think I’m getting it.”
So as I closed the computer (vowing to limit my stat checking to once daily), I assured Kenny that although I freely and unabashedly share stories about our personal life with my readers, it was all fun and the truly humiliating tales were at my expense, not his. In fact, I added, his character was becoming quite a hero, having committed before God and a dozen of our closest friends and family to stay beside me forever, despite my embarrassingly steady stream of epic fails.
“Well,” he said, “I’m still not entirely sure about this blogging thing, but I know you love it, and everyone in town” (that would be you, Mom) “seems to think you’re good at it, so I’ll just keep providing material, I guess, right?”
Kenny sounds like Kevin and seriously he has a love/hate relationship with how much time I spend doing this, but still loves getting talked about on my blog!!! :)
You did a great job explaining blogging to someone who has an aversion to computers. Good call on limiting stat checking. I’ve started stepping away from my computer when I’m not writing or responding to comments, and I close Facebook and Twitter when I need to focus. It helps my blog/life balance. Leaves more time for fishing. :)
Oh my! My hubby doesn’t know I blog either (more because he doesn’t get my scrapbooking obsession) but you would think he would see it run across his Facebook feed!
Your husband sounds wonderful, love how he gives you the post-it notes! Love your humor! Thanks for sharing with all of us!
I love this!! Stat checking really can get dangerous for me, I too have cut it down. Also the whole comparison thing can really drive me crazy, especially since I had stepped away from my own site for a year to do another project. Coming back has been a bit humbling. But I agree with you the connections you make and the instant feedback you get on your writing is great. :)
He provides the material and you write about it…THAT sounds like a great team!
I just a had a similar conversation with my hubby over the weekend! :) Great post.
I just had a similar conversation with my hubby over the weekend! :) Great post.
I cannot believe Kenny has never read your blog. He is missing out! And forget the stats and likes – you are good at what you do and the blogosphere would be a sadder place without you in it.
I love this so much. He sounds wonderfully supportive.
Having people stop your husband around town to talk to him about your blog rates MUCH higher than any stats could! You are awesome.
SO SO SO funny! And super impressive that he was so involved in wanting the specifics…neither of our hubbies read our blog either…and never once have they asked how we know if we are any good! Kudos to Kenny…and he does provide the best material for sure! :)-The Dose Girls
For the record, my husband never reads my blogs, either. But he does know I use him for material. As for checking stats and numbers..it can drive you crazy, can’t it? I’ll join you in the nuthouse in a few years.
My husband will read a few posts on my blog once every other month. Other than that he’s not interested. He’s not really a computer person, but that’s okay with me. You did a great job at explaining blogging.
I loved this. And does Kenny know the back of his adorable face is going to be everywhere after I’m done with that photo?
LOVE this and so true! My husband doesn’t read my blog…he does “like” the posts on facebook though. Here is my situation though…my mother in law reads it daily! My mom, however, says ,”Oh…a blog?” “Do you make any money” and then has ever visited it! Never asked the name, never mentioned it, just let it pass her by! Oh well, maybe your family friendly goat will tell my mom about mine!! Thanks for the laugh this morning!
Heather may
http://www.frugalfitfamily.com
Bahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!
I love your blog and I’m pretty sure I love you too.
Partly bc your not a 23 year old newlywed mom to a fur baby blogger.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Your newest follower and #1 fan!!!!
HA! My husband knows I have a blog but that is it. He, like Kenny, hates all things computer and thinks Facebook is Satan’s son. This weekend we were at a party and a friend commented on how much she laughed at my post about running. Anyway, he looks at me and says “other people know about this”
He still hasn’t asked to view it. I am thinking along the lines of don’t ask don’t tell
Maybe you should print out one of your blog posts and let Kenny read it (or maybe the word here is “force”). Once he knows how much of a rock star he is, he’ll deliberately start feeding you material.
Kudos on your success to date – you’re obviously generating lots of buzz.
I’m terrified to blog IN CASE my husband reads it. I’ve even banned him from my Facebook page. He has enough to tease me about already!
Haha, what an awesome hubby :)
You are correct in the viewers opinion of your hubby… I keep wondering if he’s got a brother, because he sounds like a very amazing guy! :-)
Loved your reason for why you blog…”because the words have to go somewhere.” That sums it up, doesn’t it?
My husband rarely reads my blog I think mainly because he’s a little scared of what I’ll write about our family. And I love how you say the words in your head need somewhere to go. I so get that!!
:0) This made me smile. My hubby saw my bloggy world much like yours {except NO ONE has EVER mentioned my little ‘ole nearly 200 FB likes blog to him}! But, he recently came up with a great idea to do something as a JOINT effort as we are really getting down close to that magical EMPTY NEST time. Hopefully, we won’t kill each other in the process! Thanks for the smiles!!!
We sat down in front of my computer and I fired up a few of my favorite blogs.
aww!! That was so funny and cute all at the same time!! I wonder what he’ll say after he actually reads a few posts!! :D
My husband not only reads every single blog post, he decided to start writing his own posts for me to put on my blog! I’m not sure which of us has it better.
Ahhhh bless him for (eventually) understanding. You could do worse than tell him that sometimes people’s husbands even do guest posts on their wives blogs….
(your stats sound pretty good to me!)
Awhhh…I love this post. Your hubby sounds like a great guy. Mine not only provides material for the blog at times (he also reads it), but quite often turns to me and says, “that’s something to blog about huh?” lol I love his support of my writing, blogging, releasing the random thoughts in my head only to make room for more!
Loved this. I started a blog for most of the reasons that you talked about in this post. My hubby would like to read my blog, but I typically don’t let him. :)
My hubby is the same way. He doesn’t really get the blogging thing too. However, when products come in for free he gets super excited. He actually uses the products more than I do! Thanks for sharing your post with us @ My Favorite Posts SHOW OFF Weekend Blog Party :)
Jessica
The Wondering Brain
Oh Vikki! I had no idea Kenny didn’t know! That makes this whole thing even funnier. Plus, I love him even more now!
Aw, that was a sweet–and funny–answer. Because they will always provide material for us, even when they don’t mean to. Actually, ESPECIALLY when they don’t mean to. :)
Ok, Vikki, you have saved me so much energy. I haven’t been able to even understand why I do this, let alone explain it to anyone. Now I have read your words and they are bang on.
I love your posts and I fear Kenny is missing out. I will get my husband to fax one to him.
BEST TITLE EVER! I smiled the whole time I read this. My husband didn’t read my blog at first, and I think it was pretty much a mystery to him. Now he reads it, but pretends that he doesn’t. I see him with it up on his laptop, smiling-I guess that’s a good thing. Every so often he’ll refer to something that I’ve written, and I’ll yell “Hey you read it!” He just smiles with this whole “maybe” look going on. I’m glad that your husband agrees to continue to provide you with material!
Kenny is sounds like my husband. He doesn’t read my blog. He complains me for spending much time blogging.
I already loved you but now I love your husband too. And definitely this post!!
`yes you will´…whether you want it or not! Did he read this post?? jaja
It´s interesting to find out how few close friends and family read most blogs. I think it´s more common than we think. I have a friend whose mother tells her friends `my daughter has a food blob´
Awww!! My husband reads my blog regularly–but it’s my grandparents who seem to feel that they must regularly ask for updates on “how is your blog doing?” but in reality they’ve never visited it and I’m not really sure that they know what a blog is. But when I told them that I got free clothes by writing funny stories–that convinced them that it couldn’t be all bad.
I know so many people who don’t read my blog. But I have one friend who follows faithfully. We were out and a friend asked what I’ve been doing, and she piped up well you’d know everything if you read her blog.
I love this post Vikki! Your husband sounds very supportive. I love how guys are always so analytical! The comparing of the stats is awesome! My husband would totally do that…and btw, my Facebook “likes” are at 110, so I’m pretty sure I suck ;)
Great explanation and he sounds like a gem!!
This is just about the sweetest blog post I have ever read about a blog husband! He is a keeper.
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Leslie
http://www.violetimperfection.com
LOL … at least he gives you good material. My hubby does read my blog and latey started commenting on all the posts in which I basically call myself a shitty mother. Nonetheless, at least he’s not writing guest posts for me yet! :)
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Raising-Reagan.com
Loved this post! Especially considering my hubby just read a post on my blog about himself just today…lol
OMG! That is so funny! I don’t think that my hub’s has any idea that he can be fuel for my fodder…but I do try to keep it at a minimum, cuz I don’t think he would be quite so okay with it. :) LOL! :) Have an awesome weekend!
Please, please keep making me laugh! As a fellow blogger who writes from life—I get it! Wait until my kids read the blog I’m writing about them.
LMBO! I am so waiting for this moment to come with my husband! I keep accidentally interjecting my pet nickname for him, and have to go back and delete it.
I had no idea that comments helped your blog. Do comments count on Facebook? If they don’t (but I MUST share your stories), then I will comment here AND on Facebook. Keep it up. If Kenny only knew how much we all love him. You are a hoot, Vikki. I’m so glad you make my day… over and over. I look forward to it!
I love this! My husband does read my blog. But he understands blogging about as well as yours. He just doesn’t ask questions :)
He is missing out on so many laughs! Great post! Have a fabulous week!
Very clever bait-and-switch topic, gal. You rock.
I love the way you explained it, now I understand:)
My husband reads my blog and thinks he is so cool because he does so.
He is my biggest supporter and toughest critic.
I could see every second of this discussion and it made my morning. ;-))))
Husbands are best left in the dark about some things. I send my blog to my husband. It’s up to him if he reads it. Since he’s busy, the neighbors usu know more about what’s going on than he does!
I am always very thankful that the husband doesn’t read my blog. He knows I do it, he sort-of maybe knows what it is I do, but at the end of the day he says, “I work all the time so you can sit home and write stuff.” Yes, dear.
Anne Lamott says “if people wanted you to write nicer things about them, they should have behaved better” (I may have paraphrased). It sounds like your husband is doing a great job. BTW, my father-in-law refers to my blog as “Kim’s blob.”
My husband DOES read my blog but he avoids Facebook as much as he can. I’ve had to step carefully when it comes to blogging about him, moreso than ever (he’s job hunting) but when I do, it is only in good fun.
After all, my mind could go before his, and then he has to take care of ME when we’re older!
Tell Kenny I had to scroll down for quite a while in order to leave MY comment. That says a lot. Well done. BEST LINE: “That blog thing you do”…I can picture the confused squint, the hand waving it off. Loved this.
I can SOO identify!! I wrote a guest post several months ago about my husband not “getting it” that I write a blog and all the other stuff I do promoting posts and such!! He still doesn’t “get” it but my son is starting to. Son even read one of the ones I wrote about him!! So maybe I’ll let him explain it to his dad!!
Okay you taught Kenny now will you teach mine. He seriously has never been on a computer in his life and sees it as a time stealer. He has never read my blog either. I think it’s funny since we write about them so often. Up until 2 years ago he thought if he could see the monitor then the whole world could see him! He would have me turn the monitor to face the wall before he could relax and watch TV. Loved this piece and I may make him read it!
My husband used to read every word I wrote and every boring product review I did. He was so supportive of me blogging – until I started writing about our sex life. Now he has the I-prefer-not-to-know attitude.
You took me an adventure into your world that I will remember for some time. Hubby occasionally reads my blog, and a few family members occasionally read it too, but otherwise I have cracked more than a few jokes about how I can’t even get my own family to read my blog let alone anyone else, and we all belly laugh.
My husband read my first post because someone had to, but he doesn’t read it now. He did stumble upon some questions the other day that I asked some male bloggers on an installment of The Penis Monologues that did bring about a very interesting conversation which ended with him saying, “just be careful.” If he only knew how much I talk about him and how awesome he is, he’d read it all the time. Good supportive husbands…not mad about it!