Invisible. Matronly. Indifferent to her looks (and to sex). Old.
That’s what we’re led to believe by a society obsessed with youth. At a time in our lives when many women say they have more energy, a greater sex drive, and more common sense and empathy than during any other decade, we struggle against a culture that often thinks women over sixty are (gasp) no longer young. And this forever sets us apart form our younger, hotter counterparts, because no matter what else we do with our lives, we’re still, well… old.
Regardless of our accomplishments and contributions to world peace, people will forever put our age before any other description. “She’s 68. Oh, and she cured cancer.” “She’s 70 this year. And she’s a federal judge.” “She’s 82. And she teaches tennis to disabled children.” Somehow, many people believe that the most important thing about woman over 60 is that she’s over 60.
To those idiots, I say “Horse pucky.”
The most significant thing about social cultures and beliefs is that too often we believe them, even if they’re stupid. We start to believe we’re invisible. We think we should wear nondescript clothing because we don’t want to look like we’re trying too hard to look young (or because we don’t have a clue what to wear anymore, so we decide to play it safe).
While it’s true that we can look silly in our attempts to channel Beonce, any Kardashian sister, or Miley Cyrus, most of us don’t want to look like Aunt Bee either (Millennials might want to Google this one). But sexy is a evolving process. Sexy at 60 is not the same as sexy at 30, 40, or 50. What looks sexy at 30 can look trampy at 50. What’s hot at 40 looks kind of sad when you’re 70. The key is to celebrate your sexiness now. At whatever age you are. Get into it and have fun.
First, weed out everything in your closet that you can’t or don’t want to wear. Maybe it doesn’t fit. Maybe it’s a horrible color on you. Maybe it’s just ugly. I don’t care what you paid for it or if it was a gift from your mother-in-law. If it makes you feel fat, frumpy, or invisible, get rid of it. It’s time to shine, woman.
Once you’re down to the good stuff, you can start to build a wardrobe of flattering, classy pieces that make you feel fabulous and sophisticated every time you wear them. Pieces that make you say, “I am woman.” Pieces that make you feel sexy.
Some suggestions that can help you rock your 60s:
- Statement accessories. Younger women often pile it on with small, but multiple pieces. It’s cute. But one strong statement piece is cleaner and more elegant. Statement pieces don’t have to be expensive. Just dramatic and cool. Consider an oversize, man’s style watch. I have several, and they range in price, but I get the most compliments on the one I bought for twenty bucks from a street vendor. Go figure.
- A leather skirt. Always a classic, go-with-anything item. This isn’t about tight leather miniskirts. Leave those to Tina Turner. That woman rocks the miniskirt like nobody’s business, and she’ll be doing it in her 90s. The rest of us look oh-so-chic in A-lines or straight styles, with a fabulous fit, slightly above or below the knee. Wear it with an oversize, man’s white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and you’ll kill ’em.
- Great fitting jeans. With the bazillion jean designers around the world and online shopping becoming the way of the world, there’s no excuse for mom jeans. Great fitting jeans make your legs look longer, your butt look perkier, and your hips appear smoother. The bad ones put weight on your belly and butt with thick fabric and heavy stitching on the fly and the back pockets. And they often don’t fit well down the legs, so they bag in the back and sag in the front. Yeah, no. Keep looking until you find the perfect pair. They should be soft, lightweight, stretchy, and comfortable, with a high enough rise to keep your Great Crevice out of sight. When you find the brand, buy them in every wash they make.
- Add color. Neutrals, while always classic, can also be boring and can wash you out, making you look tired and older. Move the neutrals (tan, nude, beige, dusty pastels, khaki) away from your face. Wear them on the bottom and add brightly colored sweaters, blazers, or t-shirts. Color next to your face will brighten your skin tone and make you look like you just returned from a weekend at the spa.
- Don’t be afraid to try prints. These are a great way to show off your personality and best assets. Right now, prints are hot, so you’ll have lots of fun choices. Try animal prints. Florals. Plaids. Polka dots. Whatever catches your eye. But limit your print piece to one item in an outfit at a time. A black blouse with a beautiful neckline would look fabulous with an leopard print A-line skirt. But combining a leopard print skirt with a leopard print jacket can make you look like you charge by the hour.
- Pick your best features and show them off. Find clothes that draw attention to what you like about yourself (If you can’t think of anything, ask your husband. If he can’t think of anything, ask a girlfriend. Then shoot your husband). Everybody has something good. If you have great cleavage, get tops with a slightly lower neckline (yes, it’s okay) and show off a glimpse. If you have Ms. Turner’s legs (we’re jealous), wear lots of dresses or skirts. If you have a beautiful back, get racer-back style tops. If you have a tiny waist, look for curvy tops that accentuate your hourglass shape. If your triceps aren’t waddling, wear short sleeves. Bonus: It’s more fun to shop for clothes that strut your best stuff, rather than shopping for clothes that hide everything you hate about your body. Win-win.
- Check your posture. Hunchbacks make us look older, period. In some cases, this is not preventable. But most of time, it’s a results of years of not sitting or standing up straight. Eventually, bones compress, movement is less fluid, and we start to walk like old women. Do a mental check every now and then. You might be surprised at how often you’re slouching and you don’t even know it. (Another bonus: When you stand up straight, you lengthen your torso, automatically whacking off about five pounds, and you didn’t even have to diet.) Sweet.
- Have at least one Spanx available in your closet for your date nights. Most of us are never going to be supermodel thin (or even want to be). But 20-30 years of not enough exercise, too much food (ditto alcohol), and poor lifestyle choices has cause our bodies to be less than perfect by age 60. Even if we wear the same size we wore when we were younger, we don’t have the same bodies. That’s where Spanx come in. When you put them on under your favorite Little Black Dress, you’ll instantly appear firmer, thinner, and smoother. Best sixty bucks spent ever.
- Download some of your favorite positive songs and listen to them in the morning when you’re getting ready to face the day. Turn it up. Sing along, and dance like nobody’s watching. Get into the lyrics. My personal favorite is “All About the Bass,” by Meghan Trainor. There’s no way you can listen to that song and not dance along, feeling good about yourself. It’s. Not. Possible. I play that while I’m getting dressed, and I leave the house feeling good. And even a little sexy.
I feel like going closet shopping now. Also, I recently began to pay diligent attention to my posture. I’ve always been a sloucher but now for some reason I’m obsessed with trying to urge my 63-year-old backbone to straighten up. It feels good! Thanks for a motivating post.
You’re quite welcome, Lynne! So glad it resonated with you. The posture thing is hard because we don’t know slouching until we get a back ache or Hubs lets us know. But we’ll keep working on it! :)
Great post Vikki, so true, I’m 61 and feel much better about my body, even though it doesn’t always cooperate. We are an awesome package at our age, and if men don’t get that, well then, send them along their way. Being divorced at my age is not a picnic, but I am not gonna settle, and posts like yours that give me the guts to go on and get busy. Thanks!
Thank you, Karen! What a nice thing to hear on post day. :) At 61, I’ve learned that everything is easier with support from our tribe. Women need to support and share, so we can all learn how to do this with style and grace! :)
This just perked me up this morning! I’m gonna get started on every one of these points! Love this post! Thanks!
Thanks so much, Terri! You just made my day! :)
Iam with you!!
Iam 72, good figure, sz 8
Petite.
Iam healty, good skin,and feel 50!!
Iam going right now to purge my closets!!!
I don’t want to look like my Mom, or my Grandmother!!!
I’m feeling sexy just reading this.
That sounded more weird than I intended.
Michelle, you crack me up! Now I have a visual that won’t go away… :)
Thanks to you, I shall be clearing the closet and making room for some new stuff!
Well, you’re welcome, Ms. Lynne! Although your hubby may not be quite as thrilled. :)
All good points Vicki. “Old” means something different to everyone, I know that whatever age I tie it to, that age changes with every year I reach. At this rate, therefore, I will never be old.
I’m with you, Susan. I defined old as next year’s problem. I wonder how long I can pull that off? :)
Iam recently single at 61, my husband decided he wanted someone younger. I felt like I would be alone the rest of my life, but after reading this, my new life starts tomorrow. Thank you ladies, you inspire me. Wish me luck
Yes to your tips! I find myself asking myself, not aloud unless I am with a girlfriend, why someone, man or woman would wear such an outfit or unflattering cut of clothes. What is it about casting stones? Off to my closet!!
Love this response, Haralee! You’re too funny! :)
I have spent way too much time sitting in front of a computer this year. I need to get out more and WALK. That is my exercise of choice and I need to get this extra 10lb. off. Thanks for the motivation!
b
You’re welcome, Barbara! Walking is described as one of the best exercises we can do. I’m in! :)
I’ve been doing the ” turn all the hangers the other direction & in 6mos those that aren’t turned go bye bye” method. In Aug I got rid of 26pcs! Loved the writing of what us “old” women need to do to perk us up!
Thanks, Cheryl! I love your hanger idea! Clothes are hard to toss, esp. if they fit, but we just don’t like them for some reason. We think we need to wear them because we bought them. Nope. Out they go! :)
Great tips! Just celebrated my 64th birthday last week. Still working on the posture! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr…..sucks being the tallest in the class (so.. I slouched to fit it.) and having scoliosis. Anyway, my posture is a work in progress…….working on strengthening my core and my back muscles. I would say my best feature is my legs………..so I am still in short skirts and dresses …often with a knee-high boot. I love my heels…………gonna rock those until I fall over. Love your idea of listening to a fav song while dressing. That is def a great way to start off our day with a bounce in our steps! Thanks!
Thanks, Ellen! I think we’ll all be working on our postures until we keel over dead. I’m envious that you can still wear heels. Parkinson’s kind of kicked my stilettos to the curb. :)
I think I’m the only woman on Earth who doesn’t like wearing jeans. I love dresses. Great tips, though. I’ll have to find a cool leather skirt and I love jewel tone colors.
Thanks, Rebecca! Jeans have historically been my least favorite item to wear because they’re stiff and uncomfortable, and unflattering on most curvy women. Then I found Liverpool stretch. AMAZING. They’re soft, fit beautifully, and if you’re like me and hate all the junk in the front (zippers and pockets) that make us look chunky, they have a pull-on waistband that lays flat underneath your tops. Love, love, love these jeans. You might want to take a look! :)
Just checking out liverpool stretch….can always use a great tip!
Horse pucky??? You absolutely crack me up every time. Where do you get these expressions? They’re hilarious!
I have finally retired at age 66 and plan to get myself in shape again. Thanks for the great tips and support!
Thanks, Ryma! You just made me whole day, and it’s only 5 a.m. :)
Thank you Vikki–today is my 8th wedding anniversary–I didn’t get married til I was 47 so that makes me…55. Last night my husband asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner tonight but I suggested that we have sex instead–this article will help me get in the mood.
Can’t you do both. Lol
Great tips Vikki! I needed them. I’ve been giving myself a clothes makeover and getting rid of some of the navy, black, gray that had taken over my closet!
My closet needs a make over for sure. Thanks for the tips!
Some women look great with grey hair but not me. M hair is fine and even thinner now. I dye mine light brown and feel it suits me. I love bright colors anyway, always have, but shapes and styles are proving tricky for me now. My neck is a bit more wrinkly than my face. Lol. So try to hide it a bit. I Stay away from short skirts and dresses but longer styles dont suit me as I’m only 5 ft 3in. There is only one length that suits unless I wear leggings, are they acceptable though? I was sixty nov 2018. I’m still sorting out what suits me.
im 5ft 4in and 61 years old, I usually try to find ‘knee length’ skirts as I feel they look best on me…….its tricky when you arent very tall like us!! long skirts are overwheming arent they??
christine
Thanks for the tips and affirmations. I am 61 and have been dating a 42 year old man who thinks I rock. It’s hard fighting all the ageism out there, even from my own head.
Love your post because it made me laugh. I liked lots of your ideas e.g shop for clothes that enhance, not hide. Now I ‘ll play dance music first thing in the morning too. Thank you.
I’ve never worn wigs before and would like to explore that. Sometimes I feel Like being a little edgy. Has anyone struggled with this while maturing and how did you arrive at a conclusion?
Love this article. Was just workiing on my closet when I tuned in. lol