When I first heard about 1000 Voices of Compassion and the idea that hundreds of people were planning to go online on February 20th to share blog posts, articles, videos, or photos about compassion and kindness, I was immediately in.
When we think of changing the world, we often think of Brangelina-size donations to a third-world country, or superstar athletes flying a sick child and his family across the country to a big game. But those gestures, however newsworthy and generous, are not the only way to effect positive change.
Kindness is like a pebble we toss into a pond. When you throw a small pebble into a body of water, it causes outgoing ripples on the surface. Every act of compassion or kindness (or anger and hostility), no matter how small, ripples out to people we may never even meet, in ways we may never imagine. Kindness, generosity, and compassion aren’t solely defined by giving a million dollars towards a new hospital wing or months away from our families to rebuild a city after a hurricane. We can start with not yelling obscenities at the guy who swooped our storefront parking spot at the mall.
My mother used to call this childhood lesson in cause-and-effect “Kicking the cat.” A guy cuts Hubs off on the freeway while driving home from work. Hubs is pissed, so when he gets home, he snaps at his wife. She’s immediately defensive and hurt, so she yells at the kids to turn off the damn TV. Little Susie is confused and starts wailing, and young Johnny, feeling unfairly disciplined, kicks Snowball, the family cat. Ripple effect in action.
Next door, Hubs is coming home and sees that the driver in the next lane wants to move over, so he slows down and lets him in. The driver, surprised and pleased, waves at Hubs with a smile. Hubs feel good about himself for being such a nice guy, so when he gets home, he gives his wife a unexpected kiss. Delighted, she sends the kids to watch their favorite Disney movie, while she and Daddy have a make-out session in the kitchen. The kids happily snuggle up on the couch, with Snowball stretched out on the floor, purring contentedly. Boom. Ripple effect.
Years ago, I attended a self-help, 80’s-style weekend retreat that challenged us to do one nice thing every day for a month and record the results. (FYI, this was harder than it sounds.) The instructors gave us some ideas, and we each added our own as the month went by. I discovered my old list in a storage box, and added a few new suggestions:
1. Give a genuine compliment to three people.
2. If you walk by a car and notice an expired meter, put a quarter in it.
3. Let the other car take the better parking space.
4. Hold the door open for the person behind you.
5. Each time you buy a new item of clothing, give an old one away.
6. Say Please.
7. Say Thank you.
8. Leave a really good tip when the service has been excellent.
9. During hot summer months, put cold soft drinks out for your mail carrier or garbage men.
10. Having lunch with a friend? Agree to turn off your cell phones and actually talk to each other.
11. Donate your stuff in storage, rather than saving it “just in case” you need it someday.
12. Learn the names of people you see every day. Then use them.
13. If you see someone sitting alone at an event, stop and talk to them.
14. Call your Mom.
15. If you see someone who’s obviously lost, stop and offer directions.
16. Buy the coffee or pay the bridge toll for the person behind you.
17. When you get great customer service, tell the manager.
18. Let someone with only a few items go ahead of you in the checkout line.
19. Say Good morning to the person next to you in the elevator.
20. Say I forgive you to someone who has wronged you. Then never bring it up again.
21. Offer change when the person in front of you at the register comes up short.
22. If you know an influential person who can help someone’s career, introduce them.
23. Can’t afford to cut a check for a charity? Donate your talents.
24. Be the first one to say I’m sorry. Even if you were right.
25. Give someone a smile. Yours may be the only one they get that day.
26. Look retail salespeople and restaurant servers in the eye when you’re talking to them. Nobody likes to feel invisible.
27. Donate your old eyeglasses or cell phone so someone else can use them.
28. Relay a compliment you heard to the person it was about.
29. If you find yourself starting a sentence with “I don’t mean to be judgmental/critical/mean, but…,” then don’t be. Just stop talking.
30. Spend 1/2 hour with a senior in a nursing home. Sixty percent of them will never have a visitor during their stay.
31. Buy dessert for the person at the next table on your way out.
32. Send someone a handwritten Thank You note, instead of a text or email.
There are dozens of other ways to brighten someone’s day. They’ll present themselves if you’re looking. You may or may not ever find out how your words or your actions rippled out to the person they next interacted with, but who knows? Besides making at least one person feel good, you might have just saved a cat.
It really is the little things that matter. I love these suggestions!
Thanks, Karen! Sometimes we’re reluctant to do anything because we don’t think it’s “enough.” But maybe if we all did one little thing each day? :)
This is a beautiful post! It’s crystal clear to the reader that you are compassionate and kind by nature. Thank you! ❤️
Thank you, Gina! And thank you for your kind words. You just made my day! :)
I was thrilled, but not the least bit surprised when I saw (several weeks ago) that you were “in” on #1000Speak. I’ve been anxious to see your special post for today ever since. And here it is finally – #1000Speak Day – and your post is every bit of awesome that I knew it would be! :D I love your cat ripple analogy. It’s purrrfect! (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.) And your suggestions of ways to show kindness are excellent.
So glad you’re part of this wonderful effort to encourage compassion today, Vikki. You lift spirits and bring smiles and laughter to so many of us each week with your amazing posts. You have a wonderful gift and you share it. That’s kindness and generosity my friend and it speaks volumes about what’s truly inside your heart. And that’s why I wasn’t surprised at all to see that you were taking part in #1000Speak. You’re a perfect fit! :)
Gosh, Marcia, you made me teary eyed! You are one of my truest, most loyal followers, and I’m grateful to have “found you” in the blogosphere. Maybe someday our paths will cross in real life. I would be thrilled to share a bottle of wine on a sunny patio with you one afternoon! :)
Terrific post Vikki! Loved it sensitive but still made me laugh!
Thanks, Rena! Loved yours today too! Is this fun or what?? :)
Love #23, just wrote about the Hubs running (& eating) last week for charity. Vikki, I always picture you as the gal in #13, making sure no one sits alone.
Thanks, Kimba! Eating for charity? I like it! :)
LOVE your post. Because cat. But especially because “Having lunch with a friend? Agree to turn off your cell phones and actually talk to each other.” My new year’s resolution (I only had one this year. They’re hard, yo.) was to not look at my phone during meal dates with friends and family. I ate lunch with on of my BFFs yesterday and she said she had to get back to work as we had already been there talking for an hour and a half by that point. “My gosh. I had no idea it was that late. I didn’t have my phone out…” She said “Yeah – that’s the first thing I noticed when I sat down.” OUCH, right? Never again! :D
Thanks, Tracy! Those pesky cell phones. The demise of conversational etiquette! My mother has a strict no-cell-phone policy when we get together. She says, “When the butts are in the chairs, cell phones get turned off.” I find myself doing the same thing with my 25-year-old son! :)
Great post, Vikki! I agree with Rena – you managed to give us lots to think about with the list, but still managed to make me smile. Thank you!
Thanks, Donna! Love seeing you here on Laugh Lines! :)
Great list, glad to see you’re part of #1000Speak. Let the ripple of compassion spread out!
Thanks, Connie! Yes, isn’t this a great idea? I’m loving the positive collective energy, and the posts are wonderful!
Vikki, I love this. Your list is excellent. I don’t have pets, so the chain at my house used to be yell at the kids and then eat candy. Your ideas are much healthier!
But yours sound like more fun, Elaine! :)
Hi Vikki! I’m so happy to be joining you in this #1000speak project of sharing compassion around the world. AND I find it incredibly interesting how we can all share different aspects of this incredibly powerful force for good. Your list is such a GREAT idea to remind us all that we can do one or two (or more) things every single day as long as we remember to know how important it is. Thank you ! ~Kathy
Thanks, Kathy! The diversity of posts are so much fun! It’s quite interesting to see how compassion is described in so many ways. Maybe there’s hope for all of us. :)
To the always compassionate Vikki, I applaud you for this post. Providing a list of ways to be compassionate is putting your own compassion into acts of kindness for others to follow. Well done and bravo.
Thank you, Cathy! Like most of us, I’d love to believe I’m always compassionate and kind, but alas, I fail too often I think. But we apologize for our mistakes and do better each time, until we finally walk our talk, right? :)
Once again you nailed it Vikki. Momma always taught me if ya can’t say something nice please keep your mouth shut. In this day and age a kind word is few and far between.
May I link your very important message on my blog?
Thank, Barb! This was so much fun to write, and of course you can link it up. I’d be honored! :)
We often forget that simple things do count, and simple nice things can mean the world to the next person. Thanks for sharing your voice on compassion today, Vikki! Your list is great :-)
Thanks so much, Joy! I don’t know who came up with the campaign, but it’s a fabulous idea! :)
I’m picturing Chris Crocker yelling, “LEAVE SNOWBALL ALONE!” Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
I absolutely adore your list and will likely be taking many of these suggestions into consideration next time I am out. Actually, one thing I am doing soon is driving 100 miles to visit with a friend for lunch…and I’m buying. She’s a great mom, wife and friend and she deserves a treat once in awhile.
Thank you, Kim! The visual of Snowball just cracks me up! 100 miles to lunch with a friend, and you’re buying? The Karma gods must love you! I live in Oregon. Is that doable for you? :)
As I’m fond of saying, don’t give in to a bad mood, give out of it. The harder a given day makes it to do, the better it works. And what a fantastic list. The day I get good at #24, I’ll know I’ve really done something. Until then, I’d better keep feeding those expired meters. :)
MizYank, “Don’t give in, give out of it.” LOVE THIS! :)
Thank you, Vikki, for reminding me that the smallest kindness may make a big difference to someone. I try really hard to remember that there are people with real problems, and that mine are nothing in the big scheme of things, but we often get so wrapped up in ourselves and don’t consider that there are at least 100 million people who are less fortunate that we are.
I agree, Beverly. Sometimes we’re looking towards what we still want, not around at what we already have, much less how to share it with anyone. But we keep trying! Thanks for stopping by! :)
You said it better than I ever could have! Spread just a little kindness…it goes further than you think!
All wonderful pointers! Little acts of kindness go a very long way. I will be sure to share!
Love how you demonstrated the ripple effect. Nice list and nice idea.
Dropping by from the #1000speak linkup.
So very true
Thank you. I’m going to go out today and make as many people as I can smile. You make my day every time I read your blog.
I love your list of little things – these are really terrific. If I were on the receiving end of any of them, it would probably make my day. Someone let us in front of him in heavy traffic this evening as we came out of the doctor’s office parking lot with round 2 of strep for our daughter. It made a huge difference.