A friend stopped by recently and announced she was thinking about starting a blog and she needed some advice. After I stopped snort-laughing about the fact that anyone would ask my advice about blogging, I agreed to explain my process of posting.
“How do you get people to read your posts?” she asked. “That is what you’ll spend most of your blog life trying to figure out,” I replied. “If you come up the magic formula, you’ll make millions. Until then, you need a post for them to read when they find you.”
I explained that the mechanics of posting are fairly general, but the process is unique to each blogger. Many Laugh Lines posts came to be using the following method:
1. Sit bolt upright in bed at 2 a.m. with a fabulous, three-glasses-of-wine-before-bedtime induced idea for a hilarious post that had you laughing in your sleep, which you didn’t write down because you didn’t want to come out from under the warm, poufy duvet and you were sure you’d remember because it was just too good to forget.
2. Go back to sleep.
3. Wake up later and realize you have no freakin’ clue what shot you out of bed three hours earlier. NOOOOO!
4. Take a hot shower, during which you rummage through your entire repertoire of memory games to retrieve your original idea. Halfway through, little snatches begin to wander back. Not wanting to lose the Great Idea twice, you shout for Hubs to get to the bathroom now, with a tablet and a pen, as you scramble out of the shower, head full of suds, to start writing before your next bout of early onset dementia kicks in.
5. Throw on whatever you can grab as you run down the hall to get to your computer and start typing a rough draft that has you cracking up the entire time because you’re just so damn funny.
6. Finish the draft and go have breakfast, so you can come back to it with fresh eyes. Ernest Hemingway instructed his students to “Write drunk, edit sober.” Not literally feasible at 5 in the morning, but grasps the essence of writing. Get it down on paper in any clumsy way you can, then edit the crap out of it.
7. Finish breakfast and head back to your office to begin the editing process.
8. Re-read the gem that was going to launch your new career as a full-time writer, and realize it’s not quite as good as you thought. Okay, it sucks. Take a deep breath as your mind whirs past a half-dozen alternate careers you can explore when you quit blogging, because the chances of ever getting paid for this blather are only slightly greater than winning the lottery twice in one day, finally deciding to just walk away for a few hours, giving yourself time to decide whether it’s worth editing or should be simply deleted so your suckiness is wiped from the universe, never to be shared in this lifetime.
9. Return two hours later, determined to bring the draft up to its original potential, and start editing, which basically involves redoing the entire post, copying, pasting, deleting, adding, and rearranging until you start laughing again, feeling that little flutter in your stomach that you get when you’re nailing it.
At this point, I felt the need to add a blogging truism. Guess what? We don’t know which posts are going to end up as #1 hits on our “Best of” menu. Regardless of what your blogging genre is, it’s a bit of a crapshoot. I’ve written posts where I’ve laughed the entire time I was writing, that were apparently only read by two family members and a gerbil, if his profile picture was accurate. And I’ve posted “filler” pieces that were entertaining, but not laugh-out-loud funny, that came in with some of my highest views ever. The moral? Write what you love. The rest is out of your control. Now back to the process.
10. When you feel like it’s proofed and ready, save it as a Draft Post and give it a week to “gel” before you publish it. There were too many times, especially in the early months, when I rushed to publish a post that wasn’t quite ready, that would have been so much better if I would have just waited a few days, allowing for last-minute edits that would take it from “Cute post” to “I spit my coffee out all over my keyboard laughing at this” comments from readers. For me, it’s worth the wait.
11. When you’ve done all the editing you can and your mind has moved on to the next post, it’s time to click “Publish.”
12. Spend the next 24 hours watching to see if anybody but you and your mother think it’s any good. And really, she doesn’t count, because she’s, well…your mom. This is the same woman who told every single person she saw on the street that you were truly the most beautiful baby ever, when, in fact, you looked like a cross between Yoda and the guy down the street with ears that could fly you to Philadelphia. Mom has no credibility.
13. Incessantly check your Dashboard for stats during the day, making goofy “BOOM” fist bumps when a Facebook “Like” comes in, you get a comment, or someone shares your post on FB, Google+, or Twitter. Or, the Holy Grail of writer validation, you get a new subscriber, resulting in uninhibited happy dances in your driveway that even your neighbors have learned to interpret, calling out “Congratulations!” over the fence, with a smile and a thumbs up. But there will also be those days when you’re lying on the couch in a fetal position with a bottle of wine and Cheez-in-a-Can, when it’s sadly clear that your post was only seen by the gerbil, and he wasn’t impressed.
14. Then, whether you’re happy dancing down the hall or you have to crawl from the pity-party couch, it’s time to get back on your computer and give back. The next few hours are spent reading and sharing other blog posts. Blogging is a fast lesson in “You get what you give.” So cough up some comments, retweets, and shares. It will come back to you in ways you can’t imagine.
15. Repeat process with each new post.
As I wrapped up my verbal tutorial, she looked at me in silence for a moment or two, while I tried to make sure she understood that my process might be totally different that hers, but what all writers have in common is the need to write. After a pause, she said, “I’m going to Thailand for a week. I’m going to write about that.”
Welcome to the blogosphere, my friend. You’re going to be great.
That’s so true Vikki! Even though I didn’t write a new post this week, I’m setting out to read, comment and retweet/share posts I enjoy! Cheers for a fabulous blog!
Vikki, this is a great post — I see myself in EVERY step, and of course I thought I was the only one happy dancing or assuming the fetal position (and usually several times within the same hour).
The most fun step for me is picking out the image that accompanies the post. I can spend HOURS looking for the perfect photo to bring it to life – probably more time than writing the post.
Thanks for the reassurance!
All I can say, Vikki, is … you nailed it. And always do.
Lol.. I should let a few of my posts simmer for awhile…
Ha! Love it. I have awaken in the middle of night w/ thought, assuring myself I’d remember it in the morning… Almost never! So now I keep pad and pen by bed.
I never wake up with ideas; but I do wake up with dreams I want to remember and it doesn’t happen. I get ideas throughout the day and just jot them down in a notes app; otherwise I’ll never remember.
It so true about the process being different for everyone.
I so relate to your process, because mine is pretty similar. Though sometimes I do get ideas while I’m mid-yell to one of the kids!! Lol! And you are so right, it’s almost always the posts that I don’t think much of that do the best and the ones that I think are going to put me in the blogging hall of fame hit with a thump! Thanks for a fun post!
Love it! I like to read about other bloggers’ processes and mine is very similar to yours Vikki. Especially the red wine induced hilarity and the “wake up and panic”. LOL
Oh, my friend, I believe you’ve got it! Not sure what “it” is, but if I figure it out, I’ll definitely let you know.
My writing process is similar, except that because of our (completely arbitrary and self-imposed midnight deadline EACH FRIGGIN’ NIGHT), I sometimes blank for an entire day, and then hastily scribble something out at 11 p.m. Let’s just say I’m not always at my most coherent at that time, and leave it at that.
So true!! The only thing I can do to help you change your entire life as a blogger and rock your world is introduce you to (and no, I’m not making a cent off of these suckers, but I should be) are Aqua Notes!! These are waterproof notepads and pencils that have suction cups so the pad and pencil stick to your shower wall. I swear I write most of my best ideas there. http://www.myaquanotes.com/ Love your blog. Joined up by email!!
Stacey – Thanks for letting us know about the aqua notes product! I posted the link on Google+. You really should join us there! Lots of writers from Midlife Blvd.
Always wondered how you came up with all the great posts you write! Now I know! :) Lots of laughter and truth in this one! It is indeed a process … you definitely never know which one will be a big hit …. add wine, do a little typing and commenting – and BLAMO! You’re a blogger! And you, Vikki have perfected the art! Thanks for sharing your process with us. I enjoyed it immensely! :)
HEART this! Shared on G+ and Twitter.
Wow, you put in WAY more effort into a blog post than I do. I just throw darts at the board where I hang words and whatever sticks goes into a post.
LOL, too funny – I love your friends response. People give me similar looks of dismay when I tell them just how much time and effort goes into blogging, so I can relate :) Love your blog, you always bring a laugh to my morning. xo
Great post – thanks for the literal LOL! I just had the “mom” conversation with my mom the other day. She didn’t comment on my contest post because, “You know, I’m your mom and I didn’t think I’d have much credibility.” Ha ha!
I concur about point number 10. This is a very important part of creating blog posts that ensure engagement, and have people sharing them. Taking just a little more time to revise, edit and make amendments will make all the difference.
Sounds about right!
Haha, all very true.. Minus the hubs participating part. He just doesn’t get it.
This is perfect and describes my process almost as well as if I had written it myself. Although, I usually don’t wake up in the middle of the night with inspiration. It’s so funny that the ones that “should” be popular or that people “should” love and share, rarely are. I kinda thought I was the only one that happened to.
As soon as my wine drunk wears off, and this can of cheese is gone, I’m going to go up to my computer and see if I can do something more than stare at the screen with my mouth ajar. Great advice. Thanks for sharing.
Love it! I need one of those shower pads that you can write in the shower…I can’t stand it when I think of something in the shower and have to remember to remember it when I get out. Note to self, tell the hubby that would be a good gift. Whoever thought of that is a genius.
“I’ve written posts where I’ve laughed the entire time I was writing, that were apparently only read by two family members and a gerbil, if his profile picture was accurate.”
Yup…
…yup.
*sigh*
*crumples up laptop*
*throws in garbage can*
Love it! And I need to let some of mine simmer a bit too. You’re totally right about writing what you love. The response is always unpredictable!
Are you peeking in my windows again?? The BEST ideas always come at the worst times. Shower is my #1 thinking spot. I’m going to invent a waterproof iPad. Eh, they probably already make one…
I know, right? FB is really starting to piss me off.
I get some of my best ideas while I’m driving. I can’t tell you how many recordings I have on my phone of me talking about these awesome ideas. Then when I listen to them later, I realize most of them suck.
Hey that’s my process too. Except my mom is honest. And that usually is not a good thing. Love the post!
On the floor with the stuff about the gerbil (and the rest of this hilarious post) so much so that the pet hamster in the corner of our family room stopped his wheel to peek at me in bewilderment. Pure Gold. Ironically, three days ago, I just blogged (hopefully humorously) about trying to teach “older people” (and I use that word ever so gently!) how to start their own blog. You can peruse it here if all the “mothers with no credibility” want to wade into the blogging pool.
http://thequotegal.wordpress.com/2014/01/23/how-to-become-a-new-blogger-not-sound-like-an-old-codger/
Come on in, the water’s fine!
That’s what I’m missing…the three glasses of wine before bedtime!! I knew there was an answer. You must have let this one percolate for days, it was perfect. I’ve been shocked by my most popular posts, too. The answer…write what you love. I need to keep that quote on a sticky note by my computer screen.
This was absolutely hysterically funny, Vikki! There was some ironic truism to Hemingway in being more uninhibited. NO, I’m not telling people to get 10 sheets to the wind and start writing lol. I was emphasizing the speaking freely part. Great post! :)
Yep, this pretty much nailed it. Especially the sitting up in bed. I recently came across a note I’d put in my “blog” list on my phone:
“Dint his ugly nab, red lobster. How blue color.”
I’ll bet that was a GREAT idea. Maybe it’ll come back to me.
Yep, I think you nailed the process. Delivered, as per usual, in your bowel-blastingly funny way!
Vikki, it’s GOOD and FUNNY!
Nailed it! And I’d love to hear more about these memory games. I’ve lost way too many ideas up in that head of mine…
Love it! Funny how the shower affects – benefits, even – the memory banks :)
I know you are sleeping off the virus thing now, but for the most part, I have to wonder how you cram in so much in every single day! How the heck??!!???
I get tired just reading through small bits of your routine.
You summed it up. Keep writing. You never know when you’ll go viral and end up on a the Ellen Degenerous show.
“I write because I must. It’s not a choice or a pastime, it’s an unyeilding calling and my passion.” ― Elizabeth Reyes
HAHA so true. So so true. And here I am, just a couple of hours away from doing the FTSF linkup and do I have even an idea of what to write? Nope. Guess I’m skipping the editing steps. Or doing them tomorrow after anybody who is going to read my post already came by. Pretty much the norm for me.
Well, you nailed this one! I do it EXACTLY as you do! Well, not “exactly,” exactly, but close enough that I can relate to everything you said. I have cryptic blog notes all over the place…can’t remember what half of them mean!
I’m more of the post and pray type. I tend to knock a blog post pretty fast and thrn publish. More often than not, I have to go in 2-5 times to edit typos and errors. Although I HAVE lost SO many ideas to not writing them down.
Chrissy, I have used the post and pray approach, and sometimes had better results than on posts I’ve “fixed” a half a dozen times. We just never really know! :)
Well, at least I’ve got the process down! It’s a crazy life!
It is, Rena! But we can’t stay away! :)
Lol! This is so true!
Thanks, Lynne!!
Vikki I have wondered often why anyone would come a read what I wrote about. I am far and above NOT a writer. I write like I talk. Some of my friends, who are into commas and correct usage of certain words, I’m sure they cringe when they read my posts. WTH I went to school, I have an education but I despised the woman that taught English and composition and all that stuff. She made it hard to understand and wouldn’t believe I was dyslexic. Suffice to say I don’t give a HECK because I have been blogging for about 10 years.
Vikki blogs are supposed to represent your personality and I love yours. I don’t have a bucket list so to speak but if I did you would be on the list of those I wished to meet and share a meal.
Barb, thank you so much for your kind words! I would love to get together and laugh ourselves silly over a plate of nachos! Maybe someday? I checked out your etsy site. Gorgeous! I’m feeling a shopping trip coming on… :)
Thank and I will pass along your comment to my husband who creates those treasures Vikki. Talk about talent late in life…………oh wait that could be a blog post ;)
I get such a kick out of hearing blogging stories…something only bloggers can relate to! You had me laughing! Loved another story I read about what you a call a blog spouse ….a blouse! Love it!
Elaine @ OMG Lifestyle Blog
Thanks, Elaine! And I’m loving the leopard print carpet on your staircase photo! FABULOUS. :)
As my younger friends say, TRUTH. All of it. Awesome is an overused word, but this was awesome. Thank you!
Anita
Thanks, Anita! And I have always (and will forever) love the word AWESOME! :)
thanks for the advice. It is helping me realize why I am failing miserably. I also don’t like that my mother is the only one reading because I feel like I have to hold back a bit.
Hi Mike! It’s always nice to know that if nobody else is reading our crap, at least Mom is always there! :)
Having soooo much trouble with the wait to publish suggestion. Apparently I have been a blogger trapped in the body of a SAHM for the past 10 years and I am vomiting posts in rapid succession. WTH it’s cheaper than therapy……and I have loved every single thing I have read that you have written.
Bryce, if you can do them more often, go for it! My creative process involves so much angst, I can only seem to come up with one or two a week. I’m kind of a “slow bus” writer! :)
It is still spot on and so funny!
Thanks, Doreen!!
OH so many of these are true. OK, all are. I often have steps 1-3 happen to me, but without the benefit of the wine part. Hemingway’s advice is great, but yes not really feasible in the early hours of the day.
I’m taking away this – “Write what you love. The rest is out of your control.” Absolutely. If you aren’t writing what you love, it’s probably not you.
Thanks for a great read!
You’re welcome, Lisa! Love that you stopped by to read and comment! :)
Yep. Sounds about right. I actually try to write down my ideas or save them to my phone, but I’ve had situations where I come back to it and think, “What the hell does this mean?” or, “Well, that’s a stupid idea.”
I agree, Suheiry! Mostly I come back and can’t read my writing, so another Great Idea is gone forever! :)
I as well believe therefore, perfectly composed post!