Kenny and I thought we were looking at bit, well…married, so we decided to go on a diet together. Loosely translated, this means he cuts back on chip dip and knocks off a quick 10 pounds, while I’m down the hall charting the pros and cons of various weight-loss options and why they NEVER WORK. Admittedly, I have a diet attention span of approximately 4 hours, and I’ve been on virtually every recognized diet on the planet (a few that came with a warning label, “Do Not Do For More Than 3 Days or You Will Die,” but hey, I was young), so a bit of comparative research seemed in order.
Weight Watchers? All that planning, counting, and cooking (from recipes)…too much work. Nutrisystem? Foil-wrapped space shuttle food. Tried it once. Gave the nonrefundables to my dog, who wouldn’t eat it either. Smart dog. MediFast? Hungry ALL THE TIME. Low Carb? By Day 3, I would have cheerfully tossed my Chihuahua under a bus for a bagel. Not my best moment.
Finally settled on Jenny Craig. No cooking, counting, meetings, or public weigh-ins. Simply pick out my favorite Jenny foods with my online, personal Weight Loss Coach (eliminating every option that included vegetables or any spices I didn’t recognize), and after explaining my “unusually high metabolism,” she let me order extra snacks (okay, I’m going to hell for that one, but I needed more food), then POOF, a month-long supply comes right to our door, all pre-packaged and ready to eat. Perfect!
The UPS truck pulled up, and as Kenny watched out the window, box after box was unloaded and set on the porch. As I began unpacking, it became obvious that Jenny was going to take up every square inch of our kitchen fridge and freezer. Kenny was trying to be supportive, but he finally turned to me and stated flatly, “If I find ONE of these frozen boxes in my beer fridge, Jenny dies.”
Deal. But for right now, I’m digging in until I find those brownies. There’s 12 of those little suckers in here, and I’m starting with dessert.
Best of luck to you! I’m doing the Eat to Live Cleanse. It’s hell, but if you can hack it, you lose like 25 lbs in a month. Essentially you just eat like 5 lbs of vegetables and fruits a day. Digestive hostility is the downside, but what’s life without a little adventure? I hope you find the brownies! That sounds heavenly right about now!
And good luck to you, Kate! I’m confident you will have more success than I will. I’ve been working on the same 10 lbs since 1974… :)
I’m on the “see” food diet. Not really, but am drastically cutting back on my carbs (ok, no carbs) and starting up on Beachbody’s P90X. Should get some great posts from that crap, if I can untangle myself afterwards.
Great post, as always!
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Thanks, Gina! I’ve tried no carb AND P90X. Hate dieting, but love working out! P90X is FUN (except for yoga… :) Have fun and good luck!!
Hey, girl! Jenny works for real :-)
You can have your wine, you’ll just have to give up the brownie for breakfast :-)
If I could find and order the turkey burgers, I would be in heaven :-)
I loved Jenny Craig. It worked for me — twice– but I gained the 10 pounds back both times. Sigh.
Good luck! I have heard all good things about Jenny Craig!
I’m counting calories for the first time in my life. It’s incredibly time consuming entering everything I eat into My Fitness Pal, but it is working.
LOL! This post is great, and I can so relate. :)
Good luck w/the diet. I’m visiting today from the Raising Imperfection hop.
Hahahahaha … laughed my whole way through this post … AGAIN!
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Hahahaha. I am doing whole30 right now and I could kill for a brownie. I am determined to make it through!
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Leslie