One of my favorite and most enduring Momisms from childhood is “The only difference between an ugly woman and a beautiful woman is either God or a boatload of money.” Setting aside the whole “inner beauty is the only true beauty” argument that has been gaining a foothold in our culture over the years, I’ve […]
7 Things Never to Say to Your Best Friend
Childhood friendships are delightfully simple. If someone is nice to us, we like them and want to be friends. If they’re mean to us, we don’t like them and don’t play with them. We forgive easily and forget quickly. We share our toys. We share our secrets. We can be goofy or silly without judgment […]
Having Sex in Your Car? The State of Michigan Salutes You
I love human nature. We are one crazy-ass creation that I’m reasonably certain is not exactly what the Big Guy intended. My favorite morning news highlights are the reports about some idiot who got pulled over the previous night for a possible DUI. This guy skidded over to the side of the road, jumped […]
The Neighbors. They Like Us. Really, They Do
For several years, Hubs and I owned a lovely little house at the end of a tree-lined street. It wasn’t big or particularly expensive, but it sat on a large lawn, with a row of giant fir trees on one side, creating a shaded, park-like setting where we hosted roughly a thousand bbqs, countless summer […]
Caught Cheating on Your Wife? 9 Excuses She’ll Never Buy
Okay. So you were caught cheating on your wife. We could go either way here. I could spend the next several minutes telling you what a narcissistic tool you are and that you have the morals of an alley cat in heat, but I’m pretty sure your wife has already filled you in on your […]
I’m 60. How the Hell Did This Happen?
This year, I’m turning sixty. 6-0. As in “years old.” How is this possible? Yesterday, I swear I was forty. I’ll always be forty. I liked forty. But I woke up this morning, and I’m twenty (count ’em…twenty) years older than I feel. That’s a whole lifetime for a college student. So I’m an entire lifetime […]
Best Friends and the Secrets We Keep From Each Other
Best friend. Bestie. BFF. No matter what you call her, she’s the one person you know will always be there for you. No matter what. When your heart is broken, she’s there with a box of tissues, chocolate, wine, and a taser in case the guy ever shows his jerk face and needs to be […]
My Scale Mocks Me. She Needs to Die
I have a confession to make. No, it’s not my unwavering love of all things red and winey. And it’s not my 20-year, auto-renewed subscription to Star magazine. Or even that when I get stressed, Lucky Charms is my go-to comfort food. For all three meals. So here it is: I am a weigh-in addict. I […]
Hubs Meets Technology. (Not) Love at First Sight
My hubs is a vintage guy. He loves all things retro. If I let him select furnishings for the house, you could reasonably assume Judy Jetson was his decorator. He likes ’69 mustangs, turntables for his albums, cassette players for his tapes, and he’d turn our kitchen into a ’50s diner if I left town for […]
Karma Called. She Wants to Talk to You
When asked about the definition of “Karma,” most people would say it means “You get what you give,” or “You get what you deserve.” And, of course, the ever-popular “Karma’s only a bitch if you are.” The idea of getting back what you give is a familiar theme, but covers only the first of the […]
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