“Mimi.” “Nana.” “Nanny.” “GG.” “G-Ma.” All names for Grandma. Whether you prefer one over another because your offspring’s tiny mini-me’s have two or more grandmothers and you want to reduce the wee one’s confusion as to exactly which grandma is on the phone, or because the word “grandma” makes you feel like Aunt Bee of Mayberry […]
How to Compliment Your Wife
In an earlier conversation with Hubs: Me: “Does this bra make my boobs look perkier?” Hubs: “Perkier than what?” Me: “Perkier than before.” Hubs: “Before what?” Me: “This isn’t a trick question.” Hubs: “Okay. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t think you should worry about it. We’re all getting older, you know, and I think you […]
“Learn to Cook,” They Said. “It’ll be Fun,” They Said
Whenever a new baby comes into a family, the first year or so is all about how “his ears are huge, just like Uncle Elmo’s” or “her smile looks just like Aunt Trixie’s.” By the second year, we start looking for positive personality traits, hopefully handed down from beloved relatives. He may have Uncle Dumbo’s ears, but he also has […]
The 12 Stupidest Love Songs, Ever
As Valentine’s Day looms closer, retailers are blanketing the shopping universe with cut-out hearts and chalky sugar treats emblazoned with “Be My Baby,” designed to get us opening our wallets to share romantic, gift-laden evenings with our special someone. Valentine’s Day is the great romantic do-over for those who dropped the ball at Christmas, sending couples scrambling to find the elusive perfect gift […]
The Reality Check. 10 Epic Fails
Recently I had a lively discussion with a girlfriend about our pregnancies (20+ years ago). She reminisced dreamily about the “new life growing inside of her” and how she’ll always remember how protective and maternal she felt while she and Hubs, who constantly assured her she never looked more beautiful, would sit for hours rubbing her swollen […]
“Motherhood for Dummies.” Where Was THAT Book in 1989?
When I was 33, I had a baby. I also had no clue. Backing up a few weeks, I really, really wanted a baby. We tried for months (boxers instead of briefs, no hot tubs, counting ovulation cycles, and learning to sleep on my back with my legs in the air to keep the little […]
And That’s Why Parents Invented the Stork Story
“Grandma, are you Daddy’s Mom?” I looked down at my 6-year-old grandson’s beautiful eyes staring up at me, his little brow slightly furrowed as he tried to get his family tree sorted out in his mind. “Yes,” I smiled, while silently praying “Dear God, please, don’t let this question go any further.” But God was […]
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