The Twins Are Not Identical By Kim Dalferes I’ve been lamenting for a while about my girls, my breasts, the twins. As I’ve reached Club Fifty status they seem to be in a race to see which can reach my knees first (righty is currently in the lead, but lefty is not far behind). No […]
Those Are Real?? Apparently God Takes Visa
A friend of mine recently had her breasts “upsized,” and she’s determined that no one will ever know they’re not natural. Okay, babe. Love ya, but we need a tiny reality check here. You’re 50. You weigh 103 pounds, and you’re a size 2 (and we’re still friends, which shows what a secure woman I […]
Doctor, Can You Give Me a Lift?
When I was in my late 40s, I decided to get my breasts lifted. I didn’t want them bigger. Just higher. Back up where the good Lord put them before gravity and age began to coax them closer to my naval than my clavicles. There’s just something about looking in the mirror every morning to […]
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