A few years ago, I was working in a beautiful boutique that sold upscale trendy fashion and selected high-end cosmetics. We live in a tourist destination town, so in the summer, the business tripled with the influx of windsurfers, second-home buyers, and wine country travelers. Late one morning, a man and his wife, both in their 30s, came in […]
Customer Service. You’re Doing it Wrong
A few days ago, during yet another frustrating computer malfunction, I called Dell’s “Award-Winning Service Department” and got Akbar in Sri Lanka, eager to try out his new online diploma in English-as-a-9th-language. He announced that before we could proceed with my questions, he needed to access my account. We spent the next 20 minutes trying […]
Men Confess. What They’re Really Thinking When We’re Talking
One night I was having a small pity party over something I no longer remember, and I told Hubs he didn’t seem to love me as much as he used to. He did the appropriate hubby thing and gave me a hug, repeating how much he loved and how lucky he was, blah, blah, blah, but I sensed a certain sigh […]
Finding the Funny with Guest Blogger Laura Ehlers
The Little White Dress By Laura Ehlers ****WARNING – this installment of Coast of Illinois contains references to female undergarments, and not in that sexy, Fredericks of Hollywood way, but in more of a clinical, listen to your Mother way.******* I bought a sweater dress. A white sweater dress. I am not sure why. I […]
30 Things You Might Not Know About Your Wife
Since the dawn of time, men have complained that women are hard to understand. During my lifetime, I’ve had two dads, three older brothers, and three husbands, and every single one of them claims that women are, essentially, unexplainable. We’re secretive and moody, and no matter how hard our men try to truly know us, we remain […]
Finding the Funny with Guest Blogger Kimberly Dalferes
The Twins Are Not Identical By Kim Dalferes I’ve been lamenting for a while about my girls, my breasts, the twins. As I’ve reached Club Fifty status they seem to be in a race to see which can reach my knees first (righty is currently in the lead, but lefty is not far behind). No […]
Christmas. You’re Doing it Wrong
I love Christmas. It’s without question my favorite holiday of the year. Christmas is that time of year when Laura Ingalls Wilder, Jimmy Stewart, and Norman Rockwell come together and create a beautiful backdrop for happy people strolling harmoniously through gorgeously decorated malls full of ribbons, hot egg nog, and carolers, with love in their hearts for all mankind. Young children squeal with […]
Today I Fired my BFF
I recently read an interesting article about self-talk and the things we say to ourselves every day. Apparently, therapists generally agree that if Hubs or a friend spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves, we’d kick them to the curb right freaking now (okay, I paraphrased). The writer pointed out that since the person we […]
Nice to Meet You. Now Get Your Hand Off my Boob
I love to shop. And shopping as in “real life,” not online. I like to touch the fabrics, try the clothes on, and search for matching pieces when I find something I love. In real-life shopping, you’re surrounded by beautiful displays, larger-than-life glossy photographs, and endless options, often providing more effective relief from stress than therapy or, surprisingly, […]
My Closet Has a Fabulous Life. It’s Just Not Mine
Kenny has an unwavering philosophy about my handbag. He doesn’t go in there. Ever. He’ll stand right next to my purse and announce “I need the checkbook,” and no amount of cajoling, stated permission, or exasperated replies on my part to “just get in there and get it” will persuade him to stick his hand in there. He feels the same […]
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